[Seagull97]

When I was about ten or eleven, all my friends had these pokemon trading cards. I didn't. As a young kid, obviously I really wanted the cards so I could be included with my friends. My parents wouldn't buy them from me because they thought it would interfere with my studies and all that.

I decided to steal the cards from our grocery store. They ended up seeing the cards and obviously they knew they didn't buy them. They got really angry.

Usually when I did something really bad my father would have me go up to his room, take my shirt off, get on the floor, and he would hit me with a riding ccrop/whip thing. Sometimes until I bled.

This was the first time I had actually done something illegal. The store owner never found out about me stealing the cards but I really would have much rather that have happened than this.

My dad told me to take my shirt off and bow on the floor so I did. When I did, he starting hitting me with the whip and I don't know for how long I just know I was bleeding and crying.

When he stopped, I thhought it was over. I thought it was done. But he told me to stay on the ground and after a few seconds I felt more pain intensely from him, he was peeing on my back. It hurt me so bad in so many ways. He kept telling me he was doing it because he was trying to teach me how to be a good son and good person and that he loved me and was trying to help me.

It only happened once. I haven't told anyone, but thinking aboout it makes me feel like i can't breathe. Thanks for reading this. I wanted to get it out somewhere. I'm only 19 now. I still have contact with my father even though I don't live with him anymore because he pays my college tuition. Don't know what to do.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

[BLUEDOVE]

For God's sake stay away from this lunatic; he's the controller,
you're the robot.
Courage To You,
BLUEDOVE

[Frankbtl]

Hi Seagull97

First of all, thank you so much for sharing that with us, and I hope you'll let us support you from here with what you've been through. Both this incident and the rest of the physical abuse
It's very understandable as to how this must have effected you deeply
Things to do...........there are some things you could try when "the feelings overflow", as in breathing/calming techniques, repeating a mantra e.g. "I'm safe now", creating some "comforting" visual imagery in your mind............and things like that you'll find on here..........
But you've made an amazing stride in talking about what happened to you, that in itself can take so much strength, but it can also open doors to moving further forward for you........real kudos to you!!
Nothing ever makes physical abuse right.........not the "really bad things", not stealing cards, not nothing and you should never have been treated that way, and in case you've thought...........it wasn't your fault
Now.........remember there are plenty of really caring people on here.........people who "get it"............and you're not alone
Just if/when you can, keep on talking, and keep on letting us offer you support through this.



Alison

[growlycat]

No child should endure such abuse. Know that this was more about your dads issues not yours. Does your college or university have a counseling center?

[Fuzzybear]

[Yours_Truly]

I'm so sorry your father was abusive. Please keep coming back if and when you need more support.

Honestly, parents like him come from an obsolete time where people were conditioned into being little slaves to the system so they could be good little servants to either join the military or work some B.S manual labor job that nobody in their right mind would otherwise do and thus, anybody like him who would be so brutal to their child deserves to die out like the dinosaur or the floppy disk.

Don't be the good little slave your so called "father" wants you to be. Be your own master and if he tries to stop you, put him in his place.

[MtnTime2896]

[Edited part out] < Pretty sure what I originally put could get me into some trouble, so I fixed it.

Hearing what that bastard did to you just set me off a bit because I have a very close friend with a very similar story. I hate her father with a strong passion.

I'm very sorry you went through that.

[Sarmas]

I'm so sorry. That's horrific and his reasoning is insane to say the least. I'm in shock. How can he even justify that???!!! This has really made me upset.

[tennisteam]

I can't even tell you how upset this makes me. I want to shout obscenities and do bad things to him. I wish I could turn back time and get you away from him. You are now the age where you can do it yourself. If the money for school comes with strings attached, which it probably does, then just be very careful. You can put up boundaries but still take his money but it is hard - go as low contact as possible until you can go no contact. Been there.

[antiquedahlia]

I'm so sorry