[WrkNPrgress]

My Therapist and I figured out that I have been in and out of toxic relationships for about 17 years. This includes only two Long-Term Relationships but there was very little 'single' time in between and I didn't do any serious dating. I was always still absorbed with Toxic Partner No. 1. while 'single' and well up into my LTR with Toxic Partner no 2.

In short, I've never taken the time to truly recover. I realized why this is so hard. I'm actually making a very real whole-life change. Like someone who's been addicted- I guess I'm recovering from co-dependency and toxic partners.

Has anyone else thought about it this way? Breaking the pattern in abusive partners as a kind of bad-drug and self-abuse recovery?

Maybe it's an obvious thing but for some reason this never clicked with me.

[gr8ful B]

YES! When younger, I went through very similar situation. Decided no more relationships until I figured out why I was picking those kind of partners. It was well worth the work and effort!

[Lolina]

Wow well done you two.
I tend to date nice guys at least for my last relationships even though they weren't perfect they weren't abusive men, they were a bit immature and not very confident. I liked to be treated like a princess to compensate from my childhood. Now that I am aware of what I asked of them. I would like in my next relationship to be loving not as demanding as before and care about my man as much as he cares about me.

I think I am aware of my behaviour because like both of you I have been for almost two years without being in a relationship. I had a few dates that I cut very quickly before any intimacy because they were not the one.

[Unrigged64072835]

It took a long time to break my relationship patterns. I was looking for a love I couldn't really get from romantic relationships. It took me therapy for a few years (where I actually listened) to finally get over it in my current relationship.