[Mad as Heck]

My friend and I have had an on again off again relationship for 45 years. He knows that I am a rape survivor and we get along sometimes for a while but then he treats me like, I don't know a piece of meat. He has straddled me held me down, torn my clothes off and sexually assaulted me. Even when I tell him no, he does it anyway. He has spoken to me too often and says to me "get him from your legs" even if I am not with another man. I've asked him why then I get the "Oh I was just kidding". I have always stopped seeing him for awhile and then something happens that gets us back together. As of late, I have been trying to move to the city that he lives in and I have stayed in his apartment from time to time while searching for my new home. He has had prostrate cancer and his penis doesn't work well, thank goodness but then he uses his fingers and he is very rough, I make all the right noises but I don't enjoy myself. He thinks that I am in Love with him but I love him because is a friend and we have helped each other over the years. Two weeks ago, he violated me and I am not gonna take his crap anymore. I was trying to take my belongings and leave his apartment and for about an hour, he tried to get me to stay, sit on his bed and I kept jumping up trying to head out of the door. My things were packed at the door and he keep pulling at me and making comments like a little boy saying that he doesn't tell me no and he just wanted to make me happy. I told him I was working and had to leave. That's when he walked up behind me stuck his hand down my pants, touched my vagina and smelled his fingers. I am beyond offended. Then for the next 3 days I tried to get my property back and finally had to have my sister ask him to take my property to a friends house. I'm ready to file charges and it's going to be a problem in our families

[Skeezyks]

Hello Mad as Heck: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[gmts]

Have you ever used physical violence of any sort to stop him?

[Monarch Butterfly]

What he did to you was wrong (sexual assault) and it's not your fault. Is there a family member you feel comfortable with and trust to discuss this? Your sister? I would stay away from him. Do you have family or friends you can stay with?

Rainn has resources and phone number to help sexual assault victims. https://www.rainn.org/

Remember this is not your fault.

[Casey Lopez]

LEAVE HIM. He is apparently bad for you. Please do. I don't know you but I know that no one with any self respect should put up with a man like that. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Gain self esteem. LEAVE HIM PLEASE.

Originally Posted by Mad as Heck

My friend and I have had an on again off again relationship for 45 years. He knows that I am a rape survivor and we get along sometimes for a while but then he treats me like, I don't know a piece of meat. He has straddled me held me down, torn my clothes off and sexually assaulted me. Even when I tell him no, he does it anyway. He has spoken to me too often and says to me "get him from your legs" even if I am not with another man. I've asked him why then I get the "Oh I was just kidding". I have always stopped seeing him for awhile and then something happens that gets us back together. As of late, I have been trying to move to the city that he lives in and I have stayed in his apartment from time to time while searching for my new home. He has had prostrate cancer and his penis doesn't work well, thank goodness but then he uses his fingers and he is very rough, I make all the right noises but I don't enjoy myself. He thinks that I am in Love with him but I love him because is a friend and we have helped each other over the years. Two weeks ago, he violated me and I am not gonna take his crap anymore. I was trying to take my belongings and leave his apartment and for about an hour, he tried to get me to stay, sit on his bed and I kept jumping up trying to head out of the door. My things were packed at the door and he keep pulling at me and making comments like a little boy saying that he doesn't tell me no and he just wanted to make me happy. I told him I was working and had to leave. That's when he walked up behind me stuck his hand down my pants, touched my vagina and smelled his fingers. I am beyond offended. Then for the next 3 days I tried to get my property back and finally had to have my sister ask him to take my property to a friends house. I'm ready to file charges and it's going to be a problem in our families