[tsha]

Today was a bad day.

Actually it started this past Wednesday during my last T session. We've been working on reintegrating my little girl. I was abused by an uncle and all but physically abandoned by my parents.

I was able to block it all out until my first depressive crash a few years ago. But with therapy it has come rushing back and I am now beginning to experience the emotions from my childhood and it hurts.

On top of that I have probably lost a close friend; not just a close friend but the only one I trusted with my story. We had a misunderstanding, I kept trying to explain, but she was too hurt. I was in a bad place at the time and trying to explain to her how something she said could be interpreted by people with mental health issues, but that I understood what she meant.

We took a break from each other for a few weeks but things seemed strained between us.

It's so much fun dealing with abandonment while being abandoned yet again. I don't think I can take it again. It already hurts too much. I've been crying all day.

awwwwwwww *hugs* Im so sorry all that is coming down at once. Please be gentle with yourself. I'm here to chat if you need, just pm.

[mtd]

tsha,

I can relate well to your experiences, especially this week, the 25th anniversary of my mother's death. Mine was a childhood marked by abandonment (literally and emotionally), horrific abuse, multiple traumas, you name it. It has been hard to find the faith to let people into my life since then, one for fear of being hurt again and two for fearing abandoment again. So I was particularly moved by the apparent loss of your close friend, who it appears you trusted and confided it. I worry for you that this loss, especially now at this fragile time in your therapy, will further hurt your inner child and break down your ability to trust and to heal.

Please be gentle with yourself at this time and know that you -- and the child inside - are worth the struggle. Please know that you are not alone, even if some people feel the need to walk away from you. Please know that you can heal and find peace.

We are here for you.

be well,

mtd

for you.... and we will be here for you.. to listen and support..



(and your friend might come around.. thru the years my best friend and I had mis-understandings on mental health..and we resolved.. in time.. took time..)

[tsha]

Thanks Esther, mtd and freewill. I need your words right now.
I feel a bit better today..no crying, yet. Its beautiful out so I think I will go sit by the lake and read.
Take care.
Sheila