I have an illness that regularly makes me 'lose control' - I have to leave important meetings to go to the bathroom, often multiple times. I've been so incredibly ashamed of this while at the same time realizing I shouldn't be since it's an illness and I can't help it.. But I've realized it's actually the loss of control I'm ashamed of.

I've been SO proud of myself for being able to control myself to an insane degree since I was little. It was my mode of survival - had my father seen my true self, he could have and would have hurt me! But I kept myself hidden - hardly able to breathe.. What an awful way to live, but I'm grateful I was able to do it - it saved some sense of self that would have been lost otherwise..

Now, however, it's OK to be more visible.. I honestly believe most people are NOT crazy like my father.. I believe most people are actually OK, normal, wanting to know who other people are, not hurt them.. So I can be who I am, with my illness and everything else.. I don't have to feel ashamed of not being able to control myself.. I don't need that way of surviving anymore. Of course, I can apologize to people for being an inconvenience - but at the same time remembering I'm not a lesser person because I have an illness that is largely out of my control.

Of course, they may be some people. for instance employers who won't think I'm enough with my illness, but then that's how it is.. As long as I do my best, I'm enough for me and for life

ShareYourStory I read about your disorder and I can relate b/c it is disruptive to have to deal with digestive problems. For example, I can't absorb nutrients or fats, and my liver tests are normal. My gallbladder and pancreas, on the other hand, are completely out of whack, thanks to my dysfunctional thyroid and hormonal imbalances.

Since our bodies are like chemistry sets, when our digestion is out of whack, that's because our other systems aren't operating normally, which then causes even more systems in our body to go haywire. People who don't suffer from digestive disorders have no clue how horrible it is to suffer with. Doctors throw OTC drugs at me, expecting their band-aid to fix my problems, which obviously, doesn't happen.

Both my sister and mother have digestive problems too. I'm convinced it is genetic.

So, let me say this: you have nothing to apologize to anyone for. I can't eat certain foods, so I stopped meeting people out for dinner years ago because it was such a stressful experience to endure in public, when at home, I can control what I eat.

I have to give myself enemas, and that's no fun. I also have to deal with the fact that I have may unanswered questions and each gastro dr. I see, doesn't seem to help me answer those questions because their quick fix is to through more OTC products at me, rather than help me determine why my digestive tract, gallbladder, and pancreas don't function properly.

Just know that you're not alone. There's plenty of us out there who suffer with digestive problems and know the frustration and everything that you feel, because we (at least *I*) feel it also. Hope that helps. Hang in there.