[Roserose329]

Seriously! Trigger warning! I will keep it as plain as I can, I just don't want to upset anyone.

To make a very long story short....

I have abusers on both sides of my family. A couple years ago I had a memory surface of me being abused by someone (uncle) who did it to ALOT of people.. I
Once the truth about him surfaced.. I thought I was exempt from what he did. I ignored the memory flash bc I thought I had made it up.. well I was talking to a sibling (who had been abused by this person) and that memory was validated.

Well years later a different person (father) was abusing a lot of people... some the same as my uncle, and then a lot more different people, mostly people within the family.

Trigger.....

Again, to make a long story short, when I was 11 my father was arrested for child pornography, I don't know any other details about his charges or anything..

Well a few days ago, someone got ahold of me, we all knew him back then and he is now married to one of my fathers victims. Well... this guy told me about these pictures and videos that were found.... my father being the one who was behind the camera. I guess in them. So obviously that kind of triggered some things for me. Memories coming back of my father giving us all alcohol.. and well.. a lot of stuff.

I am so sorry if I made this to detailed or if I have upset anyone..

But I write this to ask.... what do I do now? I'm already seeing a therapist.. I am a stay at home mother of 3. I am struggling to go through my day and I don't have anyone to call and help.. or babysitters. My husband works all day so I'm alone with the kids.. and I'm trying my best to remain normal and calm.. but this anxiety is so intense.. I don't want my kids to see it. My therapist has already referred me to a psychiatrist, but I wont see them for a few more weeks. I have "self soothing techniques" but they aren't helping much.

How do I go about my life with them his information? And I'm afraid that more will surface...

Again, if I have triggered anyone, I am terribly sorry!

[reb569]

I can't imagine going through what you are going through. I have memories of abuse that I've always remembered, and fragmented memories that I've always had. I do sometimes wonder what is behind the fragments, but haven't, and probably never will do anything to try to remember them. What I remember is painful enough, I can only guess that what I don't remember is, or could be, worse.

Posting here is a great start. Keep posting, hopefully you will find it helpful.

In the meantime, can you schedule an extra session with your therapist? If possible, I would try to do that.

Hugs out to you!

[Jo1994]

That a lot for you to have to cope with. Thank you for sharing your story. Is there anything you find distracting or helpful in having some positive time? Please keep talking and expressing what you're thinking, getting it out in the open can help clear the air and fear of it.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Very sorry to hear you're having to go through this.

Perhaps a doctor would have more sway than the therapist alone, and could have the meeting with the psychiatrist brought forward. It seems a long time to wait in an emergency situation like this

They should be understanding, especially with you having children solely reliant on you.

In the meantime, you can talk to us.

Thinking of you.

[Roserose329]

Thank you all for responding! Sorry I am just getting back! I appreciate all of the support here! This is an amazing place to go for help. I am very excited to see the psychiatrist and hopefully get some help! Today has been long and kind of stressful but definitely better than when I wrote that out a few days ago. Thanks again everyone! I hope you are all having a great day

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Good luck with everything.