[alldaysit]

The unbelievably terrible things she has done to me is astonishing, and I keep learning about more and more. It’s so hard. The woman I gave my life to is an illusion, and the person behind that is a monster. For years I couldn’t figure out how someone who loves another person could treat the other one like she treated me. After all, she was the love of my life and my soul mate (apparently not). We have a family together, one two year old and have been together and married for many years (less than 8). I could never do to her what she was and is doing to me. Then I started reading on Cluster B individuals, a few weeks ago. All the symptoms line up to a T. This has been a roadmap to recovery for me, and is helping me through this extremely difficult process and I hope knowing these items will drastically improve the chances of additional placement for my two year old child to be with me, when I talk with my lawyer. I can’t imagine my child growing up with someone who does not love fakes conditional love.

I am wondering if I’m alone out there in how hard it has been to leave my wife and maintain no or low contact, because of the emotional abuse she inflicted on me and my child over the past many years of our relationship. Our child is two years old, and I know my wife has never bonded with him.

After years of this I stood up for my child and I by telling her I was no longer comfortable in this relationship and I was done, she then tried to sabotage my entire life. The day after that I filed for divorce. She’s never said sorry, never tried to reconcile, and does not understand why I filed. She posted on Social Media she was heartbroken, she moved out of the house in three days, she has told an insurmountable number of lies, had her family members contact me. She moved on to her next victim within a week, Which was really hard to understand how someone who was heartbroken could do so that quickly, but this is a blessing in disguise.

This process has been the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. It’s been many weeks now, and I am slowly starting to feel the numb effect to begin wearing off (if I had to quantify what percentage I’m at I would say 1% and 100% is my goal). A tiny window of excitement for life has begun to show and I am so thankful for that. My child is so much happier now, the change is drastic in only a short time. I am however still an emotional roller coaster. I have very sad episodes where I cry. I don’t even know why, then I guess it’s the brain chemicals I’m fighting. I’m a grown man, crying out loud (pun intended). The time alone or with my child is so healing at home, and I can’t believe how dark the shell I was under was.

Am I alone? Did it help you in your recovery reading about people who are in the Cluster Bs? She has been trying everything to still control and hurt me, even though she has another relationship.

[InMyEyes]

I know exactly where you are coming from. Be aware that she may not be done with you and your child.

In my case, after a PI that i hired to find her came up empty, she returned after a 2 yr absence with lies that i "kept her away," and received joint custody. Now I'm co-parenting with the covert narcissist who mentally/emotionally abused me for 5 yrs prior to leaving which i hoped was for good.. The judge even gave her all holiday time for two years to "make up for lost time." What a sick joke on me because i was the PARENT to our child for 2+ yrs (she was absent by her choice from his ages 2.5 to 4.5).

The judge "threw my son to the wolf" the day after the hearing for the summer and wouldn't hear of the possibility of a gradual introduction of his "mom." My good boy is not as happy as he once was. While I never talk bad of her to him, he's no dummy. She told him about her absence "your daddy was baby sitting." When he told me that, I asked him how he felt and he said "you were being my daddy!"

She had no reason to do things this way. It only makes me hate her more and I fear her more than anything. Not for me so much as for our son. If she really loved him, why the hell did she leave and come back into his life the way she has? Im up tonight without my son on christmas.

It's all WRONG but the judge favored her- a true wolf in sheep's clothing who I garrauntee is slowly, covertly pulling my son away with video games as his "sitter." He didn't have a care for them but introduced to them over the summer, all summer, that's ALL he wants to do now. Its all i can do to stand it.

In the eyes of the court, I am a "controlling, abusive man" (yes, the judge believes that with no truthful evidence). I am waiting for the next bomb to drop which will include a modification of custody where she lies again, gets him, then what she really wants a check and something to occupy her other child since she's remarried. That guy is really in for it because I have a feeling he could be posting similar to this one of mine in a few years.

Best of luck to you, sorry for the "rant" but your story seems so similar to mine I got on a roll.

[alldaysit]

Originally Posted by InMyEyes

I know exactly where you are coming from. Be aware that she may not be done with you and your child.


In my case, after a PI that i hired to find her came up empty, she returned after a 2 yr absence with lies that i "kept her away," and received joint custody. Now I'm co-parenting with the covert narcissist who mentally/emotionally abused me for 5 yrs prior to leaving which i hoped was for good.. The judge even gave her all holiday time for two years to "make up for lost time." What a sick joke on me because i was the PARENT to our child for 2+ yrs (she was absent by her choice from his ages 2.5 to 4.5).


The judge "threw my son to the wolf" the day after the hearing for the summer and wouldn't hear of the possibility of a gradual introduction of his "mom." My good boy is not as happy as he once was. While I never talk bad of her to him, he's no dummy. She told him about her absence "your daddy was baby sitting." When he told me that, I asked him how he felt and he said "you were being my daddy!"


She had no reason to do things this way. It only makes me hate her more and I fear her more than anything. Not for me so much as for our son. If she really loved him, why the hell did she leave and come back into his life the way she has? Im up tonight without my son on christmas.


It's all WRONG but the judge favored her- a true wolf in sheep's clothing who I garrauntee is slowly, covertly pulling my son away with video games as his "sitter." He didn't have a care for them but introduced to them over the summer, all summer, that's ALL he wants to do now. Its all i can do to stand it.


In the eyes of the court, I am a "controlling, abusive man" (yes, the judge believes that with no truthful evidence). I am waiting for the next bomb to drop which will include a modification of custody where she lies again, gets him, then what she really wants a check and something to occupy her other child since she's remarried. That guy is really in for it because I have a feeling he could be posting similar to this one of mine in a few years.


Best of luck to you, sorry for the "rant" but your story seems so similar to mine I got on a roll.

Thank you. Let me be the first (maybe!) to tell you Merry Christmas buddy. I appreciate you sharing your story so much. I can tell you are a good dad and your son knows this.

Have you been keeping logs? I have found out I need multiple. One for pickup and drop off times. Another for activities I’ve done for or with the child. I have been keeping track of baths even. I used to get yelled at because I didn’t give our child all the baths. I also been keeping a log to “keep track of her crazy”. I don’t know exactly what that log consists of other than when she lies or does something “crazy” I put it in there.

This transition as a single parent was not hard for me because I did everything before anyway. The only things I didn’t do which the child’s mother endlessly gave me crap over was a load of laundry for the child each week and clip his fingernails. I didn’t realize during the marriage how lazy she was and the weight of the depression she had on me. Now, keeping the house clean and laundry all the way done, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the child is actually easier than it was when I was married. It blows my mind all the time. I have more time as a family of 2 to do stuff now then we did before. I just got done putting out Christmas presents and am going to fall back to sleep. Hope to hear from you again buddy and have a good Christmas morning.

I am proud to be a good leader and a good parent to our child, and she will never take that away from me.