[Rosalie]

anyone else do that? tell yourself it didnt happen so you can 'forget about it.' that you werent in an abusive relationship. that its just a dream, it wasnt real because you dont wanna be one of those women. like when you were still with him and he didnt mean it, it was just a bad day. it wont happen again. he didnt really hit you. you just made him angry and you'll know better next time. its just that he loves you so much he gets upset sometimes. and you sit there and feel like such a bad girlfriend, you're always making him mad, you dont deserve him.

and then the more you think that way, the more sense it makes. and you tell yourself that you're a ***** and a loser and its your fault he gets like this. you cant just do what he asks. and you hate your friends because they dont like him and they're trying to take away the man who loves you.

years later, in that small part of you that cant lie to yourself anymore, you know it was bad. but the worst part is you still love him and miss him and wish he would come back.

I'm like that. I always said. it didnt happen. I remember but it didnt happen. I'm crazy. It helped for a while until I felt myself turning on myself, on my ability to tell the truth.. even if to myself.