Things that didnt happen

I woke up this morning and was laying in bed and started placing scenerios of torture of me as a child...this never happened to me....i know for a fact...something that horrific i would remember...and it has to do with adults doing it to me and me being a child....but i know this didnt happen for a fact....so why am i thinking of these things?? And in such precise detail and it happens alot not just this morning. Does anyone else do this? Any ideas ..insights....i have no idea...

I wasn't abused, so maybe I shouldn't be replying, but I just wanted to let you know that I do that sort of thing as well. I thought I was the only one! They're mostly to do with guns, but the earliest one I can remember was about me falling on broken glass when I was in primary school...I can't remember how old I was exactly.

I hate it, and it scares me sometimes, but I do it anyway...I don't know why I don't just stop.

I'm not sure if my reply was at all helpful, but you're not alone.

Maybe its a self punishment thing. I know when i feel bad I reply bad scenes.

maybe maybe maybe
simplist most ppl care when they see blood

why wood we want to remember horrific things
it took my mind ages to even place that in my accessable memory
are u sure it never happened
maybe by copin u blocked it out
is it time to heal?

(((((((((inny))))))))))
barney sings loudly

((((((((everyone))))))))))

thanks for the support....no this didnt happen...im pretty sure it didnt happen...its just my stupid imagination...it didnt happen...it couldnt have happened....

I certainly can't tell you what did or did not happen to you. If what you are thinking of did not actually happen, I would believe there is some trapped feelings about some other type of trauma that you are trying to access and express. It's probably coming out this way in the morning when you defenses are down and your mind is not distracted by daily activities.

For me, I saw horrific images for years and denied their truth, squashing it with compulsive behaviors to numb the fear and the pain. I don't deny anymore.

be well,

mtd

((((((((((Inny)))))))))))

(((((inny))))

Love you dear. Just wanted you to know I care and you are in my thoughts.

purplesecrets

thank you
its been very hard.

i had images replay themselves over and over while i was growing up, and i thought that i made them up and that was certifiably insane. when i finally told in therapy when i was 21, i found out that they could be real memories. and my family had clues that backed up those memories, although they didn't know what was wrong in my situation, since noticing clues of abuse was not available at that time. they knew something was going on because of my behavioral clues and physical symptoms. at first, i questioned my therapist over and over so many times, what if the memories are not real, but false memories? i still wonder to this day, though, despite the clues that my family had that coincided to the events. i just didn't want to implicate an innocent man if my memories were truly false.