[Albatross2008]

.....sometimes people laugh.

Now, I do try to keep a sense of humor. It's a good coping skill. But there are times when I'm altogether serious, and get laughed at.

Sometimes it's a misguided attempt to de-traumatize. They mean to comfort me, but it comes off belittling and minimizing instead. (hand wave, light chuckle) "Oh, pssh, that's nothing to get upset about." I recognize that they probably have good intentions, but it's really not a good way to react.

What's worse is when I'm in obvious distress over something. I may be talking about how my ex-husband deliberately snuck up behind me and startled me with a snake, knowing I'm afraid of them. Or I may talk about a family member fat-shaming me, or how a group of bullies mocked me. When I talk about it, the person I'm talking to thinks I'm delivering some kind of stand-up comedy routine. Then they catch the look on my face, realize I'm not joking, and may apologize between gasps of laughter, but they can't stop laughing. "I'm sorry.... hehehe.... I know I shouldn't laugh.... hehehe.... but I just think it's funny what he said." (explodes in laughter.)

My inclination when this happens is to decide this person is not my friend after all. It hurts the most when I really, really thought they were. Or maybe even worse, when it's another family member laughing like this at my pain.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[RubyRae]

I don't usually tell anyone my story.People don't really know how to react to it.

I'm sorry you aren't validated.It might be a good idea to only share with those that you feel you can trust.

Yes, it has happened to me. One friend laughed when I told him how my brother traumatised me. He laughed and laughed and said it wasn't rape.

Others have laughed at stories of bullying, emotional abuse, physical abuse.

That shows they're unkind and not worthy of your trust. I'm so sorry you've been dismissed,mocked, invalidated. All your experiences are painful and worthy of compassion.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Others have laughed at stories of bullying, emotional abuse, physical abuse.

Sometimes laughter is a way of discharging anxiety...

[katydid777]

I am from a older generation, when you don't talk about home problems, so even to this day I have a very hard time talking about my life. I start but only get to about the age of 12, because after that the abuse got so very much worse that it is the hardest for me to even bring it up. I started working on my story on this site, and still I only got to around 11 or 12. I am so sorry you are having problems with people that you are close to. People who haven't been abused in any way can't relate at all, so they don't know how to react, don't fault them, explain to them, so they do understand that there reaction hurts you. But don't stop talking about it. I am 52, and still can't get any further than I di, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone's brain to handle for there life.

[nicoleflynn]

I have shared my story many times. No one ever laughs; in fact most people understand and relate; my life story won a scholarship and I went back to school at 60! I also wrote and had my life story published! So, in a way; all of that bad stuff worked for me! Never be ashamed of your story.

[Gablesgirl1061]

It sounds like the people you think are friends are really very hard hearted people. I would try to find truer friends who have compassion for suffering people.
It's true that many people just don't get it when you tell your story. It makes them uncomfortable and they often react in hurtful or Invalidating ways. That contributes to our sense of isolation and slowness. I would still tell your story, hiding it only helps the abuser, but you may start the conversation off with a more serious tone and tell them first that you've had a very painful or scary episode, so they know it's a serious thing.
Stay true to yourself and learn to love yourself, just as you are. Read and learn how to protect yourself from abusive people.
You are not alone. Other survivors understand and are cheering for you.

[Albatross2008]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

I have shared my story many times. No one ever laughs; in fact most people understand and relate; my life story won a scholarship and I went back to school at 60! I also wrote and had my life story published! So, in a way; all of that bad stuff worked for me! Never be ashamed of your story.

This is my goal. I'm in the process of writing my own. I'm doing it under an assumed name, so I can't give any information about it.

Originally Posted by Gablesgirl1061

It sounds like the people you think are friends are really very hard hearted people. I would try to find truer friends who have compassion for suffering people.
It's true that many people just don't get it when you tell your story. It makes them uncomfortable and they often react in hurtful or Invalidating ways. That contributes to our sense of isolation and slowness. I would still tell your story, hiding it only helps the abuser, but you may start the conversation off with a more serious tone and tell them first that you've had a very painful or scary episode, so they know it's a serious thing.
Stay true to yourself and learn to love yourself, just as you are. Read and learn how to protect yourself from abusive people.
You are not alone. Other survivors understand and are cheering for you.

Thank you. If I don't get support from one person, I tell somebody else. And then I'm very careful about going to that one person again.