[starfruit504]

As I've written before I suffered a great deal of abuse in my FOO. I'm married now and I have an abusive sister-in-law who pushes all my buttons. And when I finally stopped letting her get to me, she turned to manipulating my DH (her brother).

She wants to see us all the time. She wants all our social time to be spent with her and she wants to know everything we do. She asks all sorts of inappropriate personal questions and will have a fit if you refuse to answer them. I swear, if she could steal a key to my house, she'd do it in heartbeat. But we have healthy boundaries, so Nope to all that.

She doesn't respect our boundaries. Her famous line is "You're not meeting the needs of this family" or "You're not fulfilling your duty to our family." What she really means is, we're not meeting HER needs, which is to be around us 24-7. I just ignore her, so she stopped contacting me. But she'll still call my husband and rip him a new one, telling him the whole family agrees with her (which is another typical lie of hers that she uses to manipulate people, she pretends that people are "on her side" when they have no idea what she's talking about). DH doesn't give in. This is all just pushing him further away from her.

My question is, how would you respond to a guilt trip like that? If someone said You're not good to your family, you don't care about your family, you don't do enough with or for your family, how would you respond?

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by starfruit504

As I've written before I suffered a great deal of abuse in my FOO. I'm married now and I have an abusive sister-in-law who pushes all my buttons. And when I finally stopped letting her get to me, she turned to manipulating my DH (her brother).

She wants to see us all the time. She wants all our social time to be spent with her and she wants to know everything we do. She asks all sorts of inappropriate personal questions and will have a fit if you refuse to answer them. I swear, if she could steal a key to my house, she'd do it in heartbeat. But we have healthy boundaries, so Nope to all that.

She doesn't respect our boundaries. Her famous line is "You're not meeting the needs of this family" or "You're not fulfilling your duty to our family." What she really means is, we're not meeting HER needs, which is to be around us 24-7. I just ignore her, so she stopped contacting me. But she'll still call my husband and rip him a new one, telling him the whole family agrees with her (which is another typical lie of hers that she uses to manipulate people, she pretends that people are "on her side" when they have no idea what she's talking about). DH doesn't give in. This is all just pushing him further away from her.

My question is, how would you respond to a guilt trip like that? If someone said You're not good to your family, you don't care about your family, you don't do enough with or for your family, how would you respond?

I would contact a lawyer and ask what kind of evidence I would need to file a stalking charges against her and do it. Ask your neighbor if they would contact the police and report a suspicious person in the neighborhood every time she show up and when the police do show up tell them you ask her on many occasions to leave and she wouldn't. Ask her to meet you guy somewhere with a therapist but don't let her know it a therapist and have them explain to she been ask to leave you alone.