[staci48]

After years of abuse I am getting divorced from my fireman husband. He recently assaulted my teenage son. I am a stay at home wife with our two kids & I am at his mercy for money. I contacted the local fire chief to tell him what has happened & he actually asked me what I did to make him so angry. With two domestic violence charges & two restraining orders against him I thought they would investigate him. I am looking for any agency that will look into this matter b/c I know he will continue abusing, so if anyone has any ideas please let me know.

[Skeezyks]

Hello staci: I'm sorry you are in this most difficult situation. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I can't be of any specific help with regard to your concerns. I suspect your recourse, in a situation such as this, is to do what it sounds like you've already done... call the police & get restraining orders. I don't know anything about how these sorts of things work in California. Perhaps if there are any womens' organizations in your area, particularly organizations that provide services to domestic abuse victims, these might be the best places to call. They would likely know what your options are given where you live.

The other more general option would be to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1 (800) 799-7233

Here's a link to their website:

Home | The National Domestic Violence Hotline

One thing you didn't mention is how old your son is other than that he is a teenager. If he is still a minor, there may be some state government child protective services that would have an interest in what occurred. It may be, though, that you would want to be careful about this. Once a government agency such as child protection becomes involved, you may largely lose control as far as how things are handled. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post. My best wishes to you...

[staci48]

Thank you Skeezks for the kind response. I have contacted The Nat Domestic Hotline. My son is 16 & my little girl is 10. I fear for her the most. I have contacted every agency I thought could help, but so far I am not getting any support. Since the Fire dept won't look into this I doubt anyone else will. I am not giving up until I get someone to listen to me.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by staci48

After years of abuse I am getting divorced from my fireman husband. He recently assaulted my teenage son. I am a stay at home wife with our two kids & I am at his mercy for money. I contacted the local fire chief to tell him what has happened & he actually asked me what I did to make him so angry. With two domestic violence charges & two restraining orders against him I thought they would investigate him. I am looking for any agency that will look into this matter b/c I know he will continue abusing, so if anyone has any ideas please let me know.

I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. But gathering evidence against him. Is the best thing to do. Have you tried to reached out to the domestic violence shelter? Or ask about a shelter for stalking victims? Perhaps they can better protect you?

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by staci48

Thank you Skeezks for the kind response. I have contacted The Nat Domestic Hotline. My son is 16 & my little girl is 10. I fear for her the most. I have contacted every agency I thought could help, but so far I am not getting any support. Since the Fire dept won't look into this I doubt anyone else will. I am not giving up until I get someone to listen to me.

Please don't give up.

[staci48]

I have successfully removed him from the home. Unfortunately no one will look into his domestic violence. I even emailed my local news that ran a story on him about what a hero he is & no response. I guess fireman get a free pass when breaking the law.

[Quarter life]

Hi staci48.

I didn't want to post this in the forums as its a very personal issue for me, and I need to continue to feel as safe as I possibly can.

I have had ongoing abusive, threatening and violent issues with a Fire superintendent for going on 16 years now. I am not, nor have ever been in a relationship with this man, not even a fleeting intimate encounter. Yet he has stalked, threatened, intimidated and caused my life to be a living hell for all these years.

When this all started happening, I contacted the local Police yet they brushed it off and did absolutely nothing. He has been in my home while I was not home, claiming that he saw smoke coming from my roof. Kicked in my gate, ransacked my laundry...etc etc etc....stuff that is just too vile to post here in this forum. The trouble is that Police services work very closely with the Fire Dept, so they take care of their own and refuse to act on any complaints out of fear of retribution or not towing the line.

However, I became very vigilant in recording all harassment in a journal including dates and times, set up CCTV cameras for evidence and my own safety, and recorded our conversations whenever he stalked, harassed and confronted me. It took all these years to finally compel law enforcement to take action against him. I have now sold my home at last and am moving to another state, in the hope that he won't be able to find me. But the fear and apprehension will stick with me for a very long time after this experience. Please feel free to private message me here anytime if you feel like chatting... abusive monsters like these have had a free ride for way too long under the guise of 'local hero'.

Please know you are not alone.

[staci48]

So sorry you had to endure that Quarter Life. I am glad you were able to get safe. My husband thinks he is untouchable & so far he is.

[AmberB96]

Wow! I am so sorry to hear of this! I am unaware of any agencies to help you other than going through your local court. You are strong and brave!