[LambyChops]

I’ve been emotionally abused by people in my childhood, but those are extremely old scars. My most recent ex boyfriend emotionally abused me for the majority of our relationship, which has been over since December. He is mentally unstable right now, and is currently in an inpatient facility diagnosed with DID. It is difficult to stress how much this man purposely hurt me. It is unnecessary to rehash the entire relationship, but for scale: I was sexually taken advantage of twice this year by someone else I thought I could trust after leaving him. But still, he hurt me far more. It still hurts sometimes, thinking of how little I meant to him and how much damage I allowed him to do.

I’m not entirely sure of the extent of the damage he’s done, because now I find myself terrified of getting close to anyone ever again for fear of being treated the way I was treated before. The guy I’m dating right now is learning to be patient with me. Sometimes I get in an extremely depressive state and I’ll end things at the drop of a hat to protect myself, but the next day I’ll regret it and not understand how I could do such a thing. The antipsychotic I’m on seems to assist with that/those moods so I don’t get to the point of being suicidal. I haven’t felt genuinely suicidal in almost half a year, so that’s a plus.

Even so, it’s easy to beat myself up for the things I did during that relationship. In a very direct way, I feel like he made me do and say things I wouldn’t (and haven’t) with anyone else.

Anywho, I should really be sleeping now. I have classes tomorrow. If you read this far, thank you! Drop a comment.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your concerns. Here are links to 5 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of healing from emotional abuse plus one, by DocJohn, on letting go of past hurts:

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Recognizing Emotional Abuse | The Recovery Expert

Victims of Emotional Abuse | The Recovery Expert

Healing from Emotional Abuse | The Recovery Expert

These 5 Self-Care Practices Can Save Your Life After Emotional Abuse – Recovering from a Narcissist

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learni...ys-to-move-on/

[Fuzzybear]

Emotional abuse is an abuse. It counts. Glad you came here for support.

[BLUEDOVE]

Look up Kirstin Neff,she has book :"Self-Compassion." And
also some books on self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden,guy is
expert on subject.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE