I don’t know what happened to me?

I went out with a couple of acquaintances, and I had a lot to drink but it was by no means the most I’d ever had and I have never blacked out. We all went back to this guy’s apartment, he handed me a beer (in a bottle, but I don’t know if it was already open). After about two sips I remember nothing. I woke up around noon in the apartment, completely alone, and my tights were gone (not to mention I missed a therapy appointment and my therapist called my parents to ask if they knew where I was). I contacted the three people I really knew there, one only remembered me sleeping on the couch, one had already blacked out herself by then, and the other claimed he had left. I spent the better part of the day in the ER waiting for a nurse, she showed up about an hour before I had to leave for opening night for the play I’m in. Anyway I got the antibiotics and a home drug test (that came up positive for barbiturates) but didn’t do the full rape kit. It feels like most of the people I talk to aren’t taking me seriously. My parents are furious I prioritized my commitment to the show over obtaining dna evidence. My director is angry I was late because “there were people who lost family today and they didn’t ask for grace”. My therapist said something about “maybe this will be a wake-up call”. Another acquaintance (who has gone to AA for a while) who thinks I’m an alcoholic (which I might be) said “Don’t blame yourself, blame your disease”. I know I could have acted differently, but to be honest I don’t blame myself or my disease, I blame whoever put barbiturates in my drink and took off my tights. I don’t do recreational drugs other than alcohol and caffeine, and I’m not on any sedatives, so there’s no explanation for what was in my system. I’m not objecting to the claim that I’m an alcoholic, but to shift the blame from a predator to the mere act of drinking with people I thought I could trust just feels like such a stab. It all does. I had the scariest morning of my life and it seems like everyone is angry at me for it.

I'm sorry you had this unfortunate experience. "Blame the victim" is something I'm afraid I have some experience with. Mine was completely different from yours & also many years ago. But it was the same concept. Sadly, I'm afraid that "blame the victim" is, & has pretty-much always been, an all too often response. It's been a few days now since you posted this. I hope you're doing okay.

Sending support, hugs and care. My story is different to yours, but I too, have had experience with sh/blaming (as I'd phrase it) whatever the name, it's ugly, adds to an already BAD situation, and bares its reflection on those who have the luxury to judge something they (thankfully) know nothing about. I hope you are/will be ok

I am so sorry this happened to you. It is probably a very confusing time in your life, wondering what exactly happened while you were blacked out because I too have had this unfortunate experience. While I do not believe I was drugged, I did black out from drinking too much and have no clue if I was taken advantage of unknowingly. It took months to wrap my head around it, trying to gather as much information as my mind could remember before I blacked out. While my experience was not pleasant and took time to heal from my own doing of drinking too much and learning to forgive myself for that, I am concerned with the fact that someone intentionally drugged you. I am also concerned that you went for help and other people were not helping you to find out who did this to you. This person is obviously a sick individual and could easily do this again. If I could suggest anything for you, it would be to seek some professional help like counseling. Even if the sicko who drugged you is not found at this time, I do believe in Karma and I hope you do too, I believe you could benefit from talking to someone about your feelings and emotions in this. I wish you the best and send you peace and love.