[Zedsdead]

Ever since I left my abuser, I have been unable to form any type of close relationship. I dont seem to be too shy, I meet people and talk regularly at work.. but I have issues in forming friendships.

I wouldn't even say its external anxiety or any nervousness I can physically feel. Its just a complete reluctance when the oppurtunity comes up.

I know that only I can change this ... but how, when my mind constantly persuades me that being completely alone is better.

I am lonely. I feel bad about this issue all the time.

[sarahsweets]

Have you considered you might be suffering some ptsd? It would make sense that you would hold people at arms length because of that.

[Zedsdead]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Have you considered you might be suffering some ptsd? It would make sense that you would hold people at arms length because of that.

I'm 99% sure I am suffering from something. I am on heavy doses of meds, when I try to taper down, my suicidal thoughts are raging. I talk to my doctor and she tells me to be stronger than my mind so is not very much help
I would love to start therapy but I already went through my free counseling here that was offered and I am a single mother of 3 with no help financially. I am struggling.

[Miss P]

Is it possible to change your Doctor? I'm forever thankful that mine is understanding and great, having a good go would make all the difference to you. Good luck, I hope you can do so, and your able to find out what's wrong, and receive the necessary care/treatment

[sarcgeo]

Zed, I can relate to your distrust of people. You are not alone. Hang in there and sometimes there is a special kind of comfort in being alone. At least you don't have to deal with human drama. As humans, drama always seems to surface in the most surprising of ways. At least alone, you can reflect on yourself and learn to trust that being alone can be a good thing. There are some very toxic people out there. I don't blame you for your dilemma, as I am there often. I can count the number of friends I have with one hand, as I don't trust people. Currently, I am also going through the beginning of a gut wrenching divorce.

I have yet still to learn to be 100% happy to feeling alone, as it can be quite isolating. Try to think of some positives there are to being alone, like not having to deal with the human drama and the toxic people that are out there. Hang in there.

--sarc

[gingerkat003]

Just out of curiosity, do you ever feel extremely selfish for thinking of trying to rekindle relationships with people you were previously friends with? It's like guilt trip myself into thinking that I deserve their friendship because I never reached out when I was feeling okay. So i never do. I stay isolated. I just wonder if we're also going through that as well cause relate to your struggle rn