Not feeling anything

I was neglected and severely physically assaulted several times as a baby. My dad was charged though he never went to jail because of his mental health. A lot of the physical and mental issues I deal with stem back to this. Stomach issues from being force-fed rotten milk. Personality disorders leading back to attachment issues. FASD. And who knows what effect repeated head injuries have on a 6-month-old child.

The thing is, I feel like... I should feel something about it? Anger? Pain? Self-compassion? Something? But when I think about it, it's in totally emotionless and detached terms. Not even like something that happened to someone else. At least then I'd think "poor kid, that's awful." But I don't even think that. It's just "yeah, that happened. So what?"

I never gave the abuse or my cold reaction to it much thought until now. But as I'm starting to delve into therapy, I can't help feeling like there's something unhealthy there. Like I've never properly dealt with the trauma or its effects on me? But how do you deal with something that happened before memory? I don't know how to begin to approach it.