[Raven1976]

Hi, I used to be here years ago under a different name. Can't even remember my old username. This place was a lot more active. Seems like there are no support forums on the internet anymore. A shame really. Anyway, I'm here because I have recently over the past six months or so have been having some flashbacks about what I think was my dad but I have OCD so I need more evidence than a normal person. One of the memories was a forceful kiss by what I know was my dad and then panic. The other a flash of what I got a sense was my dad knew it was a man but the flash was split second, some underwear that I think were mine and a pressure then release of pressure in my abdomen. I was convinced meant I was dying. I was wondering if that's all the evidence you had to go on would you conclude that you're father had done something sexual to you? Thanks in advance for any replies. I'm just struggling right now.

[Yaowen]

I wish I had an answer to your questions but sadly I am at a loss. Maybe someone here with insight will have something helpful to offer. A highly qualified and experienced psychologist might be helpful. I don't know.

[RoxanneToto]

I’m so sorry you experienced that, Raven1976 - my adoptive father was sexually abusive towards me, too. I never suppressed my memories of that as you did, but I have felt similar physical symptoms relating to other traumatic memories. It would be interesting to know how much you trust your own instincts/gut. Speaking more generally, I would listen to that gut feeling, if you feel something is “off”.
Many people want you to look everywhere except behind the curtain, so to speak. If you’ve seen the Wizard of Oz, that’s where the analogy comes from.
It’s difficult to accept a parent abused us, because they’re meant to have looked after and protected us, not taken advantage. I think a good book for you to read would be The Body Keeps the Score - it explains how trauma is often buried, or “forgotten” by the conscious mind, but is imprinted on us in other ways.

[Travelinglady]

Welcome back, Raven, and whoever you were! I agree with both of your responders. Talking to a counselor and reading the suggested book. Sounds to me like you might be remembering a sexual experience, but I'm no expert. If you did have one, remember it's not your fault and nothing to be ashamed of. But I would talk to someone to validate your memories before announcing it to your dad or other relatives....

And yes, things have slowed down here as we've changed names, originally being Psych Central, and we oldies are getting used to things. I hope we will pick up again at some point.