Loving Mother with sexual feelings for Son

Hi everyone

Hopefully I can get some responses back to put me more at east with my situation. Here goes anyway, i'm sorry if my structure is all over the place.

I'm a 25 year old guy, I live in the UK. I live happily alone although I struggle to make friends and I am not keen on having a relationship which I will tell you about later, I am also a virgin. My parents love me to bits and I see them twice a week. I drive out to see them, we live 18 miles away from each other. I have always had a very deep relationship with my mother. My dad is similar to me in that he is a little bit back-offish and was busy working when I was a child so I didn't have much time with him although our relationship is much better now, in general I have been mothered and smothered by the females in the family. I also have a sister. My mother herself had an awful upbringing with her parents - her dad was (he is still alive but very old and mellow now) very cruel and she was the only girl with 5 other brothers, they were poor and I do not know the severity of the cruelty/abuse on my mother as she does not wish to speak about it.

Getting back to 2008, my father is generally very busy and doesn't always have a lot of time sharing with my mother, this has always been the case in her eyes, this is something I would find hard to talk to my dad about because he is insecure and rigid in his lifestyle routine, it would not be right for me to comment to him on his love for my mother. So given all this information recently my mother although (she has always been very close to me) has started to add subtleties in her body language, and suggestion, she has inserted a lot of innuendo in conversation with me recently. This has messed my head up big time.

So the other night I went to dinner at their house and my mood from philosophical in the afternoon quickly evaporated into vulnerability when driving to the dinner, there were a few family guests attending which I didn't know of also. But when I arrived there was an obvious awkwardness in my exchange with my mother and I sat in the living room and waited to be called. The mood was awful at the table and I had to talk to my sister about my worrying upstairs.

Me and my sister called my mum into the kitchen for a chat and I vaguely tried to get to the point of the mother acting 'weird' around me by treading on egg shells the way I said it. You see the understanding between me and my mother is so deep that it's like we're playing head chess over what's gonna be said next. I was so concerned for my mother's health at this point.

The major point here also is that I personally have some sexual/trauma issues which I cannot remember from childhood but there is something which prevents me from even talking to girls, i'm 25 now but I have the equivalent experience of a 14 year old, when I think about it, the root of all this must be with my mother.

I'm sorry i've written this in confusing structure. The question I need to ask is how do I repair, where do I go from here with my mother? There is something deep within my mother which made her love me 'over the edge' when I was a boy and up to now, the only solution I can think of is for me to make a prominent effort to find a partner and therefore cutting off some of the intensity in my very deep and uncomfortable relationship with my mother.

Thanks for reading

therapy. individual and at some point w/you and your mom meeting with the therapist. seriously .. you have some deep rooted issues that need to be delt with.

Your talking about having s*x with your mom?

I'm not judging, just being clear.

I think you should talk to a therapist about your feeling and abuse history. You may want to tell your mom to do the same thing. But regardless of rather you talk to her about this or not, you should see someone. In my opinion, the direction you and your mother's relationship isn't healthy for either one of you.

Good luck...

I think the primary thing you should do is talk to your mom about your feelings. I would not just dive in but slowly work the conversation around to where you feel comfortable talking more open with her. if that fails then you need to talk to a therapist or a life coach or just someone who can be the in between person and who can keep score.
just my two cents worth love Sybil