[RozG]

for anybody who knows about this stalker business...

the court date has been set for 29th & 30th May.

he's still insisting on pleading not guilty...despite the fact that the police

themselves are witnesses to death threats etc

anyway, that means i have to show up in court so his lawyer can eat me

for breakfast.

not looking forward to it. don't know if i'll be strong enough to go.

all i know is...if i don't go the case gets dropped!

but as the police told me the video statements were in place of me going

to court... i've been totally unprepared for this.

anyway, just thought i'd let anybody who cares know what's going on.

and to you all

Court cases are scary but I'm sure it will go well.

I'm surprised you have to go, if you did video statements. If you are terrified of going, could you get a doctor to explain you're not stable enough to go on the stand? I think some courts will accept that if you can't.

I hope it goes well. This means that this scum can be locked away now.
Take care.

[RozG]

i never thought of talking to my doc about it, she certainly wouldn't approve.

ty for that advice Griffe.

[onlymedid]

(((((((((((((((((ROZ)))))))))))))))
If you can't get out of it, is there anyone that can go with you and be there for you in the courtroom so you don't feel so alone? I think it would help alot.
I still hope you can get out of it, though.

Sending you my love and support!

BJ

[RozG]

(((((((( BJ ))))))))

you know this is gonna make me sound really soft...half the neighborhoods gonna be there. it's just i wasn't prepared for it coz i got told if i done video statements i wouldn't have to appear.

those video statements were done in the child protection suite with an appointed adult of my choosing there as i'm classed as a vulnerable adult...meaning the rules aren't that different to the rules for a child.

i'll have all the support i need but...his lawyers gonna eat me for breakfast! i can't remember what i done yesterday, if i've had my pills today etc...so his lawyer will have a field day cross-examining me...which was the whole point of doing the vids as we went along.

i will see my social worker tomorrow but i'm holding my breathe as the police have already made it clear...i don't show, he walks!

thanks for your support though BJ

[I_WMD]

I can tell ya how to keep from being ate for breakfast from defense lawyer :

He will probabley do some prilimanary Q / A ,,,, Kinda to guage your mood .>>.. He most likely knows where your weaknesses may lie in your testimony asto previous statements you may have given .

As long as the questions are more or less harmless >> answer defense peep directly with short Yes or No s'... Look him in the eye .

As the questions get more to the point ,,acknowledge his question ,, wait for the state to object ,, [ count 1 2 3 ,, then nod at defense attorney,, and face Judge or Jury ,, depending on what the defendant has requested .. >> Judge Trial or Jury .. Answer the cross examination by repeating what you gave in direct testimony to state when they first Asked your name and There Q / A .

At any time during your testimony you feel the need to elaborate >> Face the Jury and see if you have their attention . Let that be your guage asto how much you need or may thinnk you need to say . >> This applies to both the states direct examination ,, and the Defense attorneys' cross.

Now a couple things that help in public speaking :
Always make sure ther is a container with water and freash cups .. when ever you feel the need to think about a question ,,, Take a sip >> and keep your eyes on the ones who question is at the for front .
Next ,, if you wear glasses for reading >> .. Use them as a prop if you need to slow your breathing ,, use them as a 1 ,, 2 ,, 3 ,, count type breather . But be Considerate of the courts time ,, do not rush your answers ,,, and be to the point ..


I sorry this all seems like alot of dynamics ,,, But that is what Court is ,, helping the trier of Fact make a connection .

For Real ,, Real ,,, GOOD LUCK !!

[RozG]

awww...WMD...that's wicked advice...i've never been in court before.

i'm gonna print that out and drill it into my head, maybe get my friend who's mom is a barrister to practice with me a bit...

and hope they allow me to wear my shades coz being agoraphobic...it may sound silly but i can't go out without shades.

and...if you don't mind...it might help in court to keep in mind that it was your post this advice came from...only coz i like your attitude...if i can say and no offense intended but a compliment...i think you're kick-*** and don't take no crap but you're sweet too...lol

thank you very much for your support...it really does help.

(((((((roz)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I wish you everything I can send your way
my prayers , my thoughts.
Know this was never ever your fault
Know I care and understand
I hope you win for ((all of us))))
who have been there done that
YOU MATTER

[I_WMD]

RozG ,, I really tend to hold those in need of strength closer ,, so as to feed off of .,, and Support ,,, even when Many miles away .

The unknown is always that which we fear the most at times ,,, Till we experience it and walk back out into the sunshine of Life and realize we are not so scathed that we can' t hold our heads up once again ,, and Put one foot in front of the other .

[[[[ usually weakness is a place another wishes us to be ]]]]....... ...... Thanks for the >> " but sweet too " LOL .

[RozG]

awww...thank you ((((((((((muffy)))))))))) i really needed that post...to remind me...if i don't go...he'll just do it to somebody else but it might be worse for them, they might not have the support i have to help them. thanks again for that.

[onlymedid]

I am glad that you have support. I sure hope your doc can get you out of this without him walking!!!! It sounds like you have every reason in the world to NOT have to go.
I sincerely hope that it all works out where you don't have to go, they use the videos, he doesn't get out and stays in jail for a VERY long time!!!



BJ

[purplebutterfly]

Awww Roz, You are in my thoughts and prayers. Just remember you have many people here on PC that are sitting with you during this time. You will get thru this, even if you think you will not. You are a very strong person. Look at all that you have been through, just remember we all care.

(((Roz)))

[RozG]

((((((((purplebutterfly))))))))

[MyBestKids2]

Oh dear Roz, I wish you luck with this. Sending peaceful vibes and healing thoughts

(((Roz)))

[yung30]

My ex-husband stalked me for years after I left him and believe me I have been to my share of court dates! His lawyer tore me apart more than once but as scared as I was I always showed up because if you don't then you are letting this person bully and control you. The fear was replaced with anger and I decided to stand up for myself nomatter what. Good Luck to you.......my thoughts are with you..

((((((((((((((((((((Roz)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

you know what? I know you will take on all the advice given here and you will walk into that room with pride and dignity knowing YOU are going to stop this freak in his tracks!!!!! YOU are the victim here .... you are telling the truth and HE is the bully/guilty party. You go girl i know you can do it ..... take in something with pc written on it and know we will all be with you ..... good luck (not that you need it)cos you rock!

Love and care and positivity heading your way just up the M42 lol ...... love Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo thinking of ya sweetie hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thinking of you today, hope it goes well (tomorrow, if I'm right?).

((((( RozG )))))

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((( Roz ))))))))))))))))))

Many times, people who do this kind of thing and are caught will plead not guilty right up until the court date....then as they go into court...the atty looks to see if the person is there that they abused.....at that point...if they are there....then they take a plea instead of going through with a trial. Sometimes, it's a ploy to see if you are going to be there or if you are going to cop out and they get to skate on the charges or have them lowered.

I understand your fear.....completely. But know you are in the safest place you can be while facing him. YOU have done nothing wrong...he has.....it's all on him hon.

I'm sending thoughts of strength and peace to you hon...you're in my prayers!


sabby

[RozG]

((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))

I'd like to say a GREAT BIG THANK YOU to everyone who gave me support and advice here.

I'm truly sorry if anyone is offended that I haven't given individual thanks here...but it's my first night home and I'm still badly shaken but SAFE.

I just want you all to know that though things are still a bit of a mess...police panic button installed in my house, having to be escorted everywhere, cops checking on me numerous times a day etc..I couldn't have got through this without the help and support of ALL you fantastic people here at pc.

Thank You ALL So Much!!!

glad to hear you are safe at home now

[RozG]

glad to be back Griffe, i've missed everybody.

[Justgiving]

I'm also glad you are safe.