[selfhelpblogger]

Hello everyone. I wanted to tell my story here. I will keep it short. I married Jen 12 years ago. I can honestly say. I loved her, but I was not in love with her when we married.. I basically married her because I wanted to help and save her. At the time I did not recognize this. She grew up in a horrible family life. Her mother got pregnant in high school and they got married. They both blamed her for their troubles. Her father turned to drinking, physical and sexual abuse of Jen. She was showed no love or support growing up. They turned her against anyone that tried to do this. We dated for several years. It was never a very good relationship. We would fight because she did not trust me and I would be angry because of it. She was determined to show everyone, anyone, that she was not worthless and could make it by herself. When I would try to support her, she took it as criticism. I spent most of those years trying to show her how to love instead of just showing my love for her. I finally understood that trying to show her was not working. I decided to make myself a better person. In the process things changed for us. Without showing her anything, she started to come along for the ride. I did not need to save her. She already did that. Support, acceptance, and love are what I give her.

[pachyderm]