questions about rape vs molestation and age - very triggering i would think

ok.. im not quite sure what the point of trigger icons are in here.... in this forum wouldn't one expect everything to be more or less triggering? Is there a non-triggering abuse discussion?

anyway.. the reason i am writing this is to ask a question that plagues me, and i think it is society engrained and sanctioned. We aren't far away from those years when "she asked for it because she dressed that way." My question is about public perception and acceptance of sexual behaviour in minors.

Ok.. everyone knows that sexual contact of any sort with a three year old is molestation... intercourse is rape, no question, it's sexual abuse. If a 19 yr old has sex with a 16 yr old (depending on where you live) then it's considered statuatory rape if she consented, or if nonconsent cannot be established (something i saw recently basically said that prosecutors will just pursue statuatory charges to be certain of conviction, and possibly to spare the vicitim's character). Ok.. so when and where does one thing become another? Sexual contact with an 8yr old - definitely molestation/rape, 10 yr old = same...13? 14? 15?

when do we begin to think the victim is not a victim? If the laws are in place bc a 14 yrs old isn't supposed to be able to give informed consent, then why do we cal it statuatoryif sex occurs, and nothing at all if only sexual contact occurs. How does the age of the offender factor into this?
what is it when a 19 yr old stalks and lures a 13yr old? if she is convonced he is her "boyfriend" and goes along with things.. is that rape? just statuatory? molestation?

what about girls who are 15 but are being lured by men in their mid-twenties? Is that just statuatory? Are these very young girls victims of molestation? sexual abuse? rape? If the guy is 25 and is having major sexual contact, without intercourse, with a 15 yr old - what is that? Does it matter if the girl is drugged or drunk? Does that even matter at all in any of these? Is she less of a victim(target) if she is sober? How drunk does she have to be for it to affect the way it is viewed?

what should these girls feel about this? how responsible should they feel?