My face... always numb.... felt.. touch for the first time on my face... today... went to the Body Work T.... and realized.. for the first time.. I could feel.. someone touch my face...

mimic.. actions... touch his face... he touch my face... and I felt.. touch..

my face.. so slapped.. so beaten... never realized.. I stopped feeling my face... red.. raw.. bruised... beaten....swollen.. bleeding...

I remember the very first slap... my ex-husband.. gave me.. a back hand slap.. that left.. hand print.. and I stopped feeling...

felt.. shamed.. embrassed.. scared... too afraid.. to leave the house.. that others.. would know.. my shame... my secret....

Damaged ... forever and a day.....

and.. my son.. the one.. I love.. chooses.. you.. my ex-husband...why?

[lenjan]

((((((((((freewill))))))))) It sounds like you've made quite a breakthrough. Go you!

As for your son -- kids come around eventually. It just might take longer than you want it to. I know as I've gotten older, I've gained more sympathy for my mom, even though she was horrible to me, because I have more life experience now and can understand a lot of what she must have gone through.

Try to hang in there. I know it's hard.

Love, Candy

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))
:Heart: :Heart: :Heart:

[Sannah]

Hi Freewill, I agree, what progress! I am so happy for you!

[sabby]

((((((((( freewill )))))))))))

How wonderful you have feeling again.....so very wonderful my friend!

As for your son, I think I know a little of how sad it is for you. When my ex and I divorced, my children wanted to live with him. I think they felt I was giving their dad a raw deal. They soon found out that living with him was not a safe or good option for them. They learned that what he dealt to me, he inturn dealt to them. But they had to learn that on their own. Nothing I could say would have made a difference. They thought I was mean for divorcing their father and breaking up their family.

Now, as the time has passed, they have learned that I had to get out of that abusive situation for my safety as well as theirs. They have learned that between their two parents, I am the one who has ALWAYS been there for them in good times and bad. They have learned that no matter how their heart loves their father...it is only because he is their father and not because he has done anything to endear himself to them in their lives. I believe your son is going to learn the same. Sometimes our kids don't understand the whats and whys of what we do for ourselves and for them. They have to learn on their own......but I know it hurts.....yes, I do know how it hurts

Gentle to you!
sabby

(((((((((((((((Freewill)))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((Sabby)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[bchlyn]

(((((freewill)))))

[thelostone]

((((((((((freewill))))))))))

what sabby said is true. i have same experience with my oldest. they learn by experience. and they know in the long run who was always there for them.

lost

[xylia]

((((((((((((((((((freewill))))))))))))))))))))

That's both amazing and beautiful.... I'm happy for you.