[unhappywomen09]

lately my fiance has been very abusive to me hes een beating me up and yelling at me he lives with me and threatens to leav e me everyday but he wont and when i tell him im done and i want him to leave the abuse starts again he told me one time befor etht if i ever leave him he will f me up he takes my money and opens my mail and today i wouldnt give him the key to the car so he beat me up and told me i didnt need to go anywhere and i should stay in the house and clean like im supposed to this all just started about 2 wks ago and i dont knwo what has sgotten into him i love him and we were great at one time but im just not sure anymore. please some help me. understand why he is doing this to me. i lov e him very much and he is a great guy but just not latley.

[Nike1]

Please do yourself a favor and get out of there and that relationship as soon as possible. If he is hitting you he surely does not love you and it will get worse. The longer you wait the more abuse you will face. You do not deserve that.
To try to answer your question of why is he doing this to you, it's evident he has some deep personal anger issues and is taking them out on you. Whatever his reasons are doesn't matter, he apparently is incapable of having a loving relationship with anyone.

[letgo]

Originally Posted by unhappywomen09

lately my fiance has been very abusive to me hes een beating me up and yelling at me he lives with me and threatens to leav e me everyday but he wont and when i tell him im done and i want him to leave the abuse starts again he told me one time befor etht if i ever leave him he will f me up he takes my money and opens my mail and today i wouldnt give him the key to the car so he beat me up and told me i didnt need to go anywhere and i should stay in the house and clean like im supposed to this all just started about 2 wks ago and i dont knwo what has sgotten into him i love him and we were great at one time but im just not sure anymore. please some help me. understand why he is doing this to me. i lov e him very much and he is a great guy but just not latley.

Hi unhappywomen09,
I don't know how long you have been together but it really doesn't matter. Run, Run and run very fast and very far away. I wih someone could have told me to run 36 yrs ago but I was a fool and I wouldn't have listened. I can tell you how its been for me for 36 yrs. At first it was very nice, he gave me everything I thought I wanted. Then we go married and the hell started. I was beaten and I ran but like a fool, I came back hoping it wouldn't hapeen again, it did and I would run, more than 30 x I ran now he's dying but not soon enough for me. I still get beaten. Get you things together. If you can go to a firends house, someone he doesn't know anything about, go to family, go to dv shelter. The shelters are ok, but watch your things. Tehy will be stolen. Don't have any children by this fool. You may regret it. Life is too short to tolerate to be abused. Whenever you get with someone else, pay attention to details. Does he get mad at nothing? Does he hate his siblings? When I look back there were plenty of details that I overlooked. Listen to everything he says, if it doesn't sound like you can function with him leave and don't look back. It is better to be myself than to live with abuse. You can make yourself happy you don't need a man to make you happy. You can replace things but not yourself. Your well being is more important than anything else. You're in my prayers.

[lynn P.]

Hi Unhappywome,
the other posts are right, you need to leave and never ever give him another chance no matter what. Yes these kind of men are great sometimes but they can also be horrible. If he's like this now, what will he be like when you have kids and more stress in your life. If he hits you once, he'll hit you again even if he swears he won't. This has nothing to do with you and all to do with him. He obviously has anger and other issues. Don't listen to his threats.
I suggest you plan to leave when he's not home, in case he hurts you more because you're leaving. Right away go to the post office and forward your mail so he can't mess with it. Also call the police and file charges and don't back out. You also have to know that you can't love someone who beats you. You should talk to a counselor to explore that.
Find somewhere safe to go like your family, friend or women's shelter. Don't think he will ever change or that you can make him change. P{lease listen to us and get out. You need to empower yourself and know that you deserve better. Please let us know how you're doing. Be strong and be safe.

[unhappywomen09]

i have tried to leave and it has gottne worste im trying to leave this week again maybe to my friends in north carolina the other night things got ugly my roomate woke up to me screaming at 4 am we were fighting and he grabbed me up by my throat and threw me on the bed and then next thing i know hes standing over me with a knife and then grabbed a broom stick the day before this happened he pushed the computer chair into my leg whiel i was stanidng by the refrigerator and i have a big nasty bruise on my left leg and one on my but from falling once agian my roomate heard me screaming and came to me. as he left out the house one days hes nice as can be the next he is nasty and horrible i dont know what has gotten into him but this is not the man i fell in love with and have known since school i used to go with his brother thats how we met. his brother is not like this. i just dont know what else or where else to go right now he is gone for a few hours and this mornign he is fine, well see when he gets back. he also hit me on the side of my head with a full hand made my ear ring the other night. well better go for now,

he goes to court on the 27th for some other charges maybe he will get some jail time well see. these charges have nothing to do with me

[Sannah]

Can you contact a Spouse Abuse center and get help leaving him more safely? It isn't going to get better staying with him.