Feeling weak

I haven't taken drugs for three years or drank for two. But im feeling very weak and vulnerable especially as I'm now living next door to a drug addict whose trying hard to be involved in my life . I feel like a failure just because I'm afraid I'm too weak and will fail. I don't go to any aa or na meetings . I struggle being in groups of people and with low self esteem I'm worried about being judged on how I look, dress, act, talk, stand, walk , breathe . I don't know how to stay strong . I don't want to fail

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Crying on the inside, (((hugs))). There are a bunch of AA groups on facebook, many of them about 22 to belong to, all closed groups. There is also Hazelden Support on line, chat free help. And then there is Melody Beatty book Co Dependent No More. You are not a failure. We often set ourselves up when we compare ourselves to one another. A person has nothing to do with how they dress or what they look like, nor their wealth or social status. The best thing you can do is go back to the meetings, and ask your meeting friends to come to your house. Who knows? Perhaps your neighbor will go to meetings and change out of this as well!? You never know so you can't limit yourself.
First and foremost, and you know this, is to put yourself first, to thine own self be true. So JUST DO IT like the Nike commercial says. And make a phone call for someone to pick you up and bring you to meetings and back home again.
Do you have a sponsor? Get one for AA and one for NA. You have to do it to stay clean, sober. Sobriety is not refraining from using as it is dealing with the emotions and triggers that make you use. You are strong because you posted this here which shows me you are stronger than you think and you want to go back to meetings.
You can do it, i believe in you! blessings