My substance abuse

Hi there. I am very deep into my addiction to meth, pills, alcohol. If I go one day without one of them, I go through withdraws. I know I need help. I have attended AA for almost 14 years now and can't manage to stay sober. I know I need a rehab but I am full of fear. I don't want to lose my place of living because I've had such a hard time finding a good place to live. Also, my 8 year old granddaughter needs me and I help out with her a lot. I also don't want my narcissist son to find out I'm in a rehab and keep my granddaughter away from me. I know these are all excuses. I am going through bad withdraws right now and I am substituting one substance for the other so I don't have to feel anything. I am Bipolar and dual diagnosed with poly substance abuse. I haven't seen my therapist for a couple of months because I've been too loaded and I am almost out of my psych meds and the place I go to doesn't have a doctor right now. So I am in fear of everything but drinking and using is making it all so much worse and I can't seem to stop. I've been going on spending sprees and spending money I don't have. My life is totally unmanageable.

Hello KristenRenee: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. There's not much I can say here. You know what you're doing & what it is doing to you. Plus, since you have a granddaughter, I presume you're old enough that you don't need, or want, a lecture. So I will simply send some warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find the means to heal...

Kristen is there any way you can say you are going away for a vacation and do IP without your son knowing it? That would be one way around things. Otherwise you have to do what is the right thing. If it gets too much out of control you could in an incompacitated state endanger your grandchild. You have to take responsibility before something happens. I say that out of love, and you know the 12 and 12. I will pray for you to have the strength to do the right thing... blessings (((hugs)))