Long term suicidal ideation

I've been stuck with deeply morbid suicidal ideation for over 6 weeks now. I have an eating disorder and can't take medication because it doesn't work for me unless I eat.

The level of sadness is overwhelming and I cry in public uncontrollably. I'm not much fun or worthy of companionship. I've been in the psych ward 3 times so far this year. Once involuntarily. I just want it stop and leave me alone. I feel like I want to die but when I've tried to kill myself I'm terrified by what I'm doing.

I overdosed on narcotics this week and went to the E.R. in an ambulance but I just didn't care that I could have died. The only scary part was not being able to breathe.

I can't seem to identify the source of this black cloud hanging over me but the starvation due to anorexia is big possibility.

Life generally sucks right now.

Lauren Ann

Hi Lauren, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through but I'm glad you're still here with us. Are you in therapy? That may be something to consider.

Hi Lauren, I too, am glad you are still here. I believe somewhere down the road things will get better even if it doesn't seem that way now. Hoping you get some help and that you will feel better soon.