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FlorRosa
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Post Dec 13, 2014 at 03:57 PM
  #1
...since I got depressed (10 years). I feel usless, I don't know how to start cleaning my room that is a mess. Feel bad about it but I don't do anything to change that. Everything cost too much energy. I have been diagnosed with Mayor Depression with psychosis traits almost 7 years ago. In the last pre-hospitalization (in Octuber) the psychiatrist mentioned bipolar disorder, but really don't know what he wrote in the discharge paper. I want to join an organization or something to do volunteer work, but I feel that I can't do it, specially interacting with other people (I still struggle with Social Phobia and some Selective Mutism from my childhood). I still live with my parents and I don't have many responsibilties. I want to live on my own but I can't find a job. Right now I don't feel like working but I need the money.
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Default Dec 14, 2014 at 12:27 AM
  #2
It might be a good thing for you to set yourself some goals. Easy stuff at first like making your bed every morning, then taking a shower, then putting your clothes away. Find things that give you a sense of purpose and responsibility. You might feel better when you have things to accomplish.
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Default Dec 14, 2014 at 10:13 AM
  #3
I agree with jelly-bean. Focus on very small goals. Today i will spend ten minutes cleaning the room. Then the next day I will take a shower. Then the next day I will brush my teeth and do 15 minutes cleaning the room. Whatever it is use small baby steps. You will be amazed at how much better you feel about yourself for just accomplishing a few things even if you have to force yourself and are still depressed. Even if I am deeply deeply depressed if I can take care of the small responsibilities I have like paying a few bills and not ignoring the mail, I feel so much better about myself.

When in that state I can't think about the big picture. It is to overwhelming. Small steps each day toward a bigger goal. Most important to me is to try to keep treating the depression. If my depression is not successfully treated I may have to settle for lesser goals. I still always have choices even if they are not the best ones. Always examine what choices you do have no matter how small.

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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

Major Depressive Disorder
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Default Dec 19, 2014 at 09:52 AM
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foxdog
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Default Dec 22, 2014 at 08:46 PM
  #5
hi i am in the same exact position as you OP. honestly, i am sick of my depression, every time it hits, it feels worse than the previous time. it's been about 12 years of this and i am 24 yo. i somehow got a bachelor's degree but do not have a job or a place i can call home as my parents' house is very unhealthy for me. i am at the end of my rope.
like the others have said, you should celebrate the little victories, such as getting out of bed, eating a meal, taking a shower.
if you want to talk please pm me.
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vital
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Default Dec 24, 2014 at 06:13 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlorRosa View Post
...since I got depressed (10 years). I feel usless, I don't know how to start cleaning my room that is a mess. Feel bad about it but I don't do anything to change that. Everything cost too much energy. I have been diagnosed with Mayor Depression with psychosis traits almost 7 years ago. In the last pre-hospitalization (in Octuber) the psychiatrist mentioned bipolar disorder, but really don't know what he wrote in the discharge paper. I want to join an organization or something to do volunteer work, but I feel that I can't do it, specially interacting with other people (I still struggle with Social Phobia and some Selective Mutism from my childhood). I still live with my parents and I don't have many responsibilties. I want to live on my own but I can't find a job. Right now I don't feel like working but I need the money.
Hi FlorRosa,

I hope you can find a way to start to feel better soon. I also like the idea of small steps and gaining confidence as you go. You may get some ideas from the "depression success stories" section of the site.

Keep in touch,

- vital
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FlorRosa
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Default Dec 29, 2014 at 02:06 PM
  #7
It's being a while that I don't write. Thinking too much about it, what to write: 'It's not that important' 'I don't know how to write it in English' or thinking that is stupid (couldn't find a better word, I think 'stupid' is a harsh word). Guess I put too much pressure on me with chores and things I must or have to do, and end doing nothing or very little. I'm trying to change that. Today I planned to meditate for a least 3 minutes, do the laundry. Just that and I already did the meditation for 5 minutos not 3!!! and I'm doing the laundry. Tomorrow I plan to meditate again and work 2 or 3 hours with the book 'A Gift to Myself'. I like to read but what I like to read is in the self-help category that means that entail doing homework not just reading (and that means also too much work and too much preassure; that's why I'm focusing in one book at a time, maybe nest week I'll work with the book 'Eat Q.'). I like to read but I can't find anything else that I would like.
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