Will I ever see the sun again?

I'm sorry that the "services" do not "cope" or help
I believe you're definitely "strong" enough to "get by" without their questionable help. But I think it sucks how they have effectively abandoned you (and I know this happens to many)
We are here for you

Thank you everyone. You don't know how often re reading what you have all said has given me strength.

D Day is tomorrow.

I saw Pdoc Friday and there is little/no other medication worth trying. He said once you're taking Bupropion you've been scraping the bottom of the barrel for sensible medication options for a while. I'm glad I got to ask again though and he showed a lot of compassion for which I'm grateful.

he also said we can't be sure of the future and it can go the way we don't expect.

Medication can't cure everything, I know that from having worked nearly 24 years in the NHS.

Thanks for your concern English Dave. I will need a referral to get back into the system, but if things get bad I'm confident from what she's done in the past that my GP will make sure I'm sent back.



The sun may stay away, the hope quotient may be almost nil, but you guys inspire me to face the next day.

I've never heard that about Buproprion (Wellbutrin). I always thought it was a pretty standard weapon in the arsenal of medications. I have been on it, but it made me anxious.

In any event, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you make the transition. I hope all goes well.

Thanks Basic goodness. I think Bupropion is only licensed in the uk to help someone stop smoking, it's supposed to reduce cravings, but a constant can prescribe "off list" if it's justified.
The only group of antidepressants I haven't tried a fair sample from is MAOIs and I don't fancy the diatry restrictions.
They haven't been suggested, possibly because that might provide temptation, (my thought) and it's a bit drastic if it's only likely to give "marginal benefit" to use my Pdoc's words.

The last session has been and gone so I'm now officially discharged. I can be referred back in to the service on a fast track basis (someone would see me within 48 hours) should everything go completely pear shaped, but that isn't so much the point for me, it is the prognosis and the implied confirmation of that which is the real issue.(ie nothing is likely to change for the foreseeable future).

I have to get used to it and get on with it somehow.

Thanks to PC and everyone on it for the support I get. Reading your responses makes so much difference.

I'm sorry I wish I had something helpful to say.
I don't get it how they expect people to "exist" and "just get on with it" with such despair and pain.
" Marginal benefit "..........if it was me I'd challenge that, but I'd do lots of things...
I do not like their terminology, it stinks of judgement and patronisation (is this a word? It "should" be )

I'm sending love and hugs

(Fellow Uker .. I'm happy to be a bear and no longer have to "deal" with this sort of garbage : )

I was wondering, could you see someone privately? I know they are very expensive.... They would tend to have a less pessimistic, punitive view and actually offer some useful support, at least I would hope so

Thanks Fuzzybear, maybe...

I don't think the Pdoc was punitive, he was very compassionate and I think he really cares if you get better. (A rarity maybe) but I do trust his opinion, even if I don't always like it!

Some private practitioners I feel will also spin a yarn to keep you coming back and false hope really makes me angry, I've had enough of that in my time.

There is a counsellor we saw for couples counselling I may see if I feel there are specific issues to address.... In total I've had years of counselling with little long term benefit. I like her though, so that's an option.

Thank you so much for your care and support. You really make a difference on PC.

I feel in a slightly better place today.

I'm so glad we're all here for each other.

I found it quite levelling when my Psychiatrist dxed my Depression's cause as a Personality Disorder. It gave reason for the years of suffering through the most interesting, successful and supposedly enjoyable times of my life. It explained why any positive Mood was fleeting, and was followed closely by dark, often destructive, turns.

You get resigned to the fact that ADs of any sort will likely keep you stable one step above Severely Depressed until the tolerance builds up and you need an increase, or a meds change. Then you are likely to experience a Mood plummet.

I have severe Anxiety/Panic issues, so Therapy has always been difficult, but being as I am I question how effective it is over the long term. It has only helped me once, getting me through a crisis, but it did not help any further.

So embrace your Personality dx, it's not the end of the World. And we are going to have a sunny Summer, I feel it

Thanks English Dave I will try to. I'm certainly making the most of the summer we're having this week.

i can relate. you are not alone