[salukigirl]

So today my boyfriend said that another grad student in his department made "the best" banana chocolate muffin something. He went on and on about how awesome they were and then I realized that it made me feel pretty bad. I'm not sure I have ever heard him react that way to anything I have ever cooked. To me, him loving another woman's food was almost equivalent to him checking out another girl and called her hot. Is that weird to get jealous over food? Why did it hurt that he liked another girl's cooking that much?

[Rhapsody]

When we don't feel good enough from with in it often hurts when the person we gave our to heart to finds some thing they like in another.... try not to let this negative feeling (while normal) get in the way of your relationship.

He loves you.... but this desert gave his taste bud some thing they needed, no biggy.

[salukigirl]

thanks rhap. theyre really good friends and make a lot of jokes about how she has known him longer. she is engaged and we hang out without him so i don't think she has any intentions and i don't think he has any for her either. just made me feel bad. i don't like feeling like i have to compete (which i know is just my own insecurities). i talked to him about it later and he reassured me and gave me kisses now i just have to bake something really good haha

[jerrymichele]

You know you could go to a resturant and bring something back home, and said that you made it.

[babyfairyfifi]

Aah, the old food=love connection. I know it well.

In our family, all the women show their love by feeding others. I think it is quite a common, nurturing way of being, but I think it pays to be aware of how this food and love connection can impact when it comes to things like eating disorders etc.

So you weren't jealous of the food per se, you were making a subconscious love /emotional connection to his appreciation of the food.

He said : Weren't her banana muffins the best? And you heard. ' I love her more than you'.
It could just be that he just really enjoyed the muffins.

I know I always throw in my heart when I cook for my partner and children. I understand how you feel. It may seem odd on the surface, but when you understand the food=love connection it is very easily understood to be jealous.

Jealousy is about fear. What are you afraid of?

[salukigirl]

That makes a lot of sense. He also talks about how our friend Shaana makes the BEST chicken wings. I guess it does make sense that I have that need to nurture but at the same time I don't want to be a mom figure, I want to be a girlfriend.

I guess I am just afraid that he has feelings for someone else. I don't know why I just do. I'm not afraid to be alone, I'm just afraid to have my heart broken AGAIN.

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

That makes a lot of sense. He also talks about how our friend Shaana makes the BEST chicken wings. I guess it does make sense that I have that need to nurture but at the same time I don't want to be a mom figure, I want to be a girlfriend.

I guess I am just afraid that he has feelings for someone else. I don't know why I just do. I'm not afraid to be alone, I'm just afraid to have my heart broken AGAIN.

Old hurts tend to stick, and it is hard to not project them on your current relationship.

Then again, this is coming from someone who still holds resentment towards her husband for things that have happened from recently to 12 years ago!

Hurt is hard to let go of. I can't cook for anything! But man, if I didn't manage the appointments, family outings and sleepovers, my husband would be LOST. There are things you do well that he appreciates and surely brags to his friends and fellow students about.

Work on being ok with YOU. Once you love yourself it is easier to love others. I know this seems nearly impossible, and though I have managed a lot more balance in my life I still struggle with it! Hang in there!