[jrae]

i'm a 24-year-old, with treatment-resistant-depression, living at home. i've never had sex before, and i don't know how long i can live with this TRD. part of me wants to have sex, to experience it, enjoy it, to be a woman. but at the same time, i'm a christian. i know a guy friend that i would ask if it came to this. any advice??

Originally Posted by jrae

i'm a 24-year-old, with treatment-resistant-depression, living at home. i've never had sex before, and i don't know how long i can live with this TRD. part of me wants to have sex, to experience it, enjoy it, to be a woman. but at the same time, i'm a christian. i know a guy friend that i would ask if it came to this. any advice??

Hi, jrae.

So are you saying that not having sex and the TRD are connected?

I am 34 and have never had sex, and I'm also a Christian - I don't know that I want to wait until I'm married, but I need to trust a man before I'll have sex with him, and that hasn't happened for me yet. I'm in therapy now, dealing with some issues, and realizing that I've been hiding for many years and not putting myself out there to really even meet a special someone. I can certainly understand the desire to experience sex - part of me feels so pathetic that I'm this old and still a virgin, but part of me is glad that I've waited until I do find my Mr. Right.

So I guess I don't really have any advice, other than to not rush into it if it doesn't feel right to you, just to get it over with.

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by jrae

i'm a 24-year-old, with treatment-resistant-depression, living at home. i've never had sex before, and i don't know how long i can live with this TRD. part of me wants to have sex, to experience it, enjoy it, to be a woman. but at the same time, i'm a christian. i know a guy friend that i would ask if it came to this. any advice??

2 quick disclaimers:

One: I am a married mother of 2, 34 years old, raised in the Christian faith

Two: My post is my opinion only.

Ok, I can so stop yelling now...but I wanted to make those things clear.

For women, sex is closely related to emotions. It would be best if you were in a better place in your head before you start expermenting with sex with a partner. That said, self exploration is a good thing. It can help you figure out what you like and don't like. I did not wait to have sex. I remember my first time, it was the Halloween Blizzard of '91 (I was 16). The most memorable thing about that night, we got over 2 feet of snow! Your first time should be memorable, but for the experience and the intimacy with another person. It is better to be ok and love you before you get involved.

Also, this is not a race. I swear! My anti-depressants killed my sex drive for a long time. While it is getting better (I have been able to drop my anti-depressant dosage and started Adderall, a stimulant, for ADHD), my emotions and issues still hold me back from sex with my husband! So sex is just as much mental as physical.

Hang in there! I know it is hard, but keep trying. You will find what works to help your depression. It can be a long journey, one I was on from puberty until recently, but you CAN make it!

[crystalrose]

I'm christian too (sort of) I have sex when I want to and I don't usually care.
I think I sometimes feel guilt for it because of how i was raised christian but I think its natural. Some christian churches are against anything sexual until your married. They even against masturbation or porn, which isnt sexual intercourse. I don't get why.

I think you should do what you want but it might be harder to be sexual if your going through a lot of stuff.

[Maven]

Crystalrose, I'm not Christian and this is a bit off-topic, but just to respond to your not understanding why Christians are generally against masturbation is because they relate it to the story of Onan, who was supposed to impregnate his sister-in-law after her husband died. It was his duty as a brother. Instead, he masturbated and "spilled his seed" and that was considered a sin. I don't ascribe to this belief, but that's where it comes from. It especially doesn't seem to apply to women, since we don't have "seed," but I hope that clears things up. It may not be the only reason some Christians are against it, but that's the general reason that's brought up.

As for porn, I think it's because Christians feel that kind of pleasure is meant to only be between a man and a woman privately, and not meant to be watched by others. Also, much porn doesn't depict a married couple (some does, though). There are a lot of reasons Christians are generally against porn, and I won't go into it here, because that's a long topic and this thread isn't about that, anyway.

[Rhapsody]

I suggest you don't do any thing you cannot mentally or emotionally live with after it is done... ((( hugs )))

[jrae]

you see, my doc gave me a book to read about vns. the guy in there went 25 years before finding anything that gave me some relief. and i'm serious about this - i told my doc that i wouldn't make it thru the first five! i'm not suicial, just don't think i can handle it. and it's been three and a half years... that's why i'm debating this...