[sewsweetie28]

Does anyone sles seem to ahve a hrd time finding good girlfriends you can count on and rely on and that will actually call and hang out? my girlfriends only seem to want to call or hang out when it is good for them, i.e. they need me for something or to brag aobut something. I seem to give and give and get half assed friendships in return! I don't get it I don't expect a lot just to see my friends once in a while to have girl time and for them to lend an ear once in awhile. Anyone else have any of these prolbems?

[salukigirl]

I understand what you're talking about. I have this one friend that I have known for about 13 years now. It got to the point where, if I made plans with her I would automatically make plans with someone else just expecting that she would dip out. It used to really bother me but it doesn't so much anymore. I really found out who my true friends were when I moved. Some people I still talk to on a daily or weekly basis even though we live 6 hours away. Some people fell off the face of the earth. Some of the people I expected to fall off (like the girl I just mentioned) actually kept in touch. Invited me to her wedding, bridal shower and has recently asked for me to come and visit her before I move to AR. That's when I realized that its not necessarily how often they are reliable or unreliable, they still care.

Do these girls you're talking about listen when you need them to? Would you feel comfortable calling them bawling their eyes out? Those are the things you need to ask when you're trying to decide if a friendship is worth it.

And, I don't know how old you are, but it does change later on. I have gotten fewer, however closer friends in college. I used to have hundreds of acquaintances but now I have a few really close friends. I like it better that way anyways. And p.s.......YOU ALWAYS HAVE US!!!!! ((((((((sew)))))))

[Rhapsody]

I personally find that friendships are not what they use to be....

[RomanSunburn]

This is totally something I struggle with. To the point where I have two best friends that get to hear all my girl talk and one of them happens to be a straight guy!

When I went to my old school, I had a few really close friends. One of them kind of forgot about me when I transferred -- outta sight, outta mind. I'll send her a Christmas card, and then she'll remember to send me a birthday card (February) and that's pretty much all the conversation we have anymore, after she knew me so well!

Here, I have friend that is simply always looking for a better offer. We'll make plans, something she likes more comes up, and if I'm lucky I'll like these new plans and tag along. There's been times, though, when she's made plans where, had she thought for two seconds, she would have realized that I wasn't comfortable going. She does listen to me if I need it, so I still consider her a super close friend, but at the same time, she can be a little scatter brained and self-centered. But then, I probably can too.

I really like what Rhapsody said, cause I tend to agree with that.

Basically, I totally understand what you're saying, and hopefully, we'll be able to find a few solid girls to have girl talk with! (Apparently friendship like that on Sex and the City doesn't exist anymore?)

Best wishes,
Ro

[Junerain]

Can you be more assertive and let your friends know what you need from them? Do you tend to be attracted to selfish people, and if so, can you incorporate those you have more in common with into your life- more selfless people?

[sewsweetie28]

THank you all, you are all right! I am 28, and the friendships that I ahve tend to be with shelfish people. I know I need to have more self-less people in my life, ones that are not so self centered. I really have only this one close friend and the others I see only once in a while. I have come to realize I need to let this go and move on to only keep positive people in my life. I know that not everyone is always positive because I know I am definalty not, but people who make me feel worth while! thanks again for all the kind words! ((((( to all )))))