desperately wanting a baby... is this normal??

is it.normal that i desperately want a baby? Im only 16 but somehow i just can't stop thinking about.that i want a baby so so much. my friend says maybe its because of my depression and that i just feel that way because i convinced myself it will give me a purpose and something to keep my mind on and be positive about, and that that's just my solution, not necessarily that i want a baby. but u don't know. i really just do want a baby soooo badly i find myself talking babies all the time my boyfriend would freak out if he knew! is it really normal that im feeling like this? x

I hope that you get some responses from people around your age.I don't really know what to say....but babies of course are a huge responsibility as you know. They also don't stay babies for long. The grow up.You are thinking of you,...wanting something to give you a purpose, and something to feel positive about.....boy I certainly understand that, however babies want things that you may not be ready to give...like 24 hour care and putting all your needs aside..all of them!

How about volunteering at the church nursery, the hospital or a day care setting. I know it does not sound like having your own baby but it might help. It will give you a purpose and you will feel needed.

You also have to consider the boyfriend. He would freak out. It takes two to make and care for a baby. He is not ready if he is also only 16 and he will resent you so if you get pregnant now. It will be a way of getting rid of him for sure. I do not think you want that.

I am so sorry that life makes you feel not needed and wanting to care for another soul for a purpose. I bet though you can find ways to feel needed like I have suggested.

Good luck and thinking of you!!

Hugs;

I feel like this too. I wish I could have a child. I even said this to my boyfriend. He would want one but not right now.

that's what my boyfriend said, but he's 20 so might want one soon but i doubt it. it would be nice but i probably wouldn't be able to cope with it if Im honest with myself.

I had my daughter when I was 22. Even that was too young in my opinion. I didn't think it at that time, but now, I know it was. I'm sure you've heard it all, but babies are HARD work. And then, as they grow, the hard work just changes.

Volunteering is obviously nothing like having a baby, but it would be an awesome way to help care for someone. There are SO many people that have so many different needs. I'm sure you could find someone needing something you would have to offer that you would enjoy.

Jess95, I think it is normal.
Have you just recently started wishing for a baby, or has this wish gotten stronger over the years?

its been a gradual thing i think. i don't no if it has anything to do with it, but like my mum had me at 16, so to me it would seem normal. but at the same time i see how much she threw away in doing that which might put me off it a bit i guess. x

I didn't know that your mom had you at 16. I was not judging you or criticizing you in any way. Perhaps I misundertood your question?

As a teen, there will be times that your emotional urges are too extreme that you are always thinking of it every time. And that is normal because you are on a stage wherein your body parts are starting to develop including your brain and hormones. Hormones affect your emotions and mental thinking. Hence, this stage is called "puberty". I advice you to get a matured and trusted companion to help you in assisting your emotions.

Totally normal. I experienced the same thing at exactly your age (I'm 28 now). Just remember to listen to your rational mind, which probably knows that there are many things in life you'd probably like to do before actually having a baby. But I totally get the urge! It feels crazy, but there it is.

I think it is normal to feel that way, although some girls feel it more than others. It is better to wait to actually have a baby, though

I think the one thing to remember is that you're not going to have a baby. You're going to have a person. Keep in mind that babies are people, totally separate from you and that they are only "babies" for about two years. And this new little person thinks only about him/herself for a long time and is extremely demanding.

Being a parent is great, but it is great to get to grow up and have a lot of great memories of going out, and friends, and experiencing life without huge responsibilities for another person on your shoulders. And then, you'll also get to grow up to be a great mom! Because you can make that your goal.

A lot of young girls want babies because they want someone to love them and fill the empty space inside. They feel like if they are needed that they will have value as a person. This comes from low self esteem and also from feeling unloved and unlovable. I'm not sure if this is where you feel you are at but I know this was why my sister got pregnant at 17.

As the 26 year old mother of a soon to be 2 year old I just want to let you know that yes, having a baby is a beautiful, wonderful, and amazing thing, but it also changes your life FOREVER. It means that you are no longer the most important person in your life. Everything you need, want, feel has to come second to meeting your child's needs.

You are exhausted and need sleep? Too bad, your newborn needs to eat every 2 hours and will take up to 45 minutes to finish their meal.

You need to run some errands and go grocery shopping? Your toddler decides they don't want to be stuck in the cart and starts screaming at the top of your lungs while everyone stares at you.

You want to dress up cute and put your baby in a nice outfit? This is your baby's cue to have an enormous blowout with poop all over their back, hair, and you!

Getting the picture?

There are good parts to parenting but it is HARD. Your little one is egocentric, the world revolves around them and they don't care how you feel or what you need. That doesn't even come into the picture for YEARS.

And kids are EXPENSIVE, we struggle sometimes to buy diapers and to get him clothes.

I HIGHLY recommend you start babysitting on a regular basis. It was the BEST birth control for me as a teen.

I had my daughter at 21. I was married and we had our own home etc. Now, she is 25 and my son 23. I am still relatively young, and they have both left home living their own lives. However, if I could turn back the clock , I would have left marriage, kids etc until later on. At the end of the day, I wish that I had been like my daughter is now, travelling overseas and enjoying her life as a single woman with no ties. You can never reclaim your life as a single person, because once you have a baby, your life becomes theirs! Wait, wait , wait.

Having a child is a beautiful journey, but it is very hard work. Sleep deprivation, anxiety if they are sick, worrying how you're going to keep the electric on if you're income doesn't give you a choice it's rent or food. I strongly suggest you finish school and have a huge nest egg as well as solid work before you bring someone else in this world. Children are demanding, far more demanding then you can imagine, being a mother isn't just the good times, then you give the kid back to whomever do you're own thing. it's alot of tears,
physical and mental pain and you don't get to say no when you want 2 minutes of quiet. I strongly believe most teen moms would suggest you wait, I'm positive you're mother had tons of help and if she didnt I'm sure she'd pursaude you to mature a bit more mentally and emotionally before bringing another human life into the world. best of luck to you.

I know what you mean, I'm only 13 and obviously I wouldn't have one now (it would be so hard to handle and take care of) and I wont actually have one for quite a few years of course, but I want one really, really bad. I always just feel the urge to have my own little baby to love and care for... It's really strange, my best friend says she feels the same way though. I think it is normal.

Completely normal, but please don't give in. I had the same calling when I was in grade 12, and again last month, and it got to the point (in grade 12) where I had to resist making it "accidentally" happen. I don't know what causes it, but it's a perfectly normal woman thing. But again, please don't give in.

That was actually a really hard time for me because I promised myself years ago I wasn't going to have kids unless the guy literally begged me, and then I'd have to be very stable. I have issues with very young children (babies till about 5), don't like the idea of my body going through pregnancy, and much prefer the idea of fostering and adopting kids when they're past the age of 5 so I can deal with them and not drive myself (more) nuts. I also have a huge fear of my lifestyle choices having negative impacts on children. So until I feel stable, and have at least one partner (I'm polly) who desperatly wants me specifically to have a kid, and they're willing to put in the effort for it, no babies for me!

It is becoming harder and harder to financially support a child. The costs that go into raising a child is becoming unreachable by many people. That is why the age of first time parents is rising. Let's not even go into the education system, social pressures, child care costs, medical costs. The child is constantly growing out of their clothes and money has to be there for that. Your social life would change cmopletely because your single or at least childless friends would be going out and you have to be home to look after a sick child.

If you love babies so much and feel a need to be needed....volunteer.

over population is ruining our planet

One of the reasons I'm planing on fostering to adopt. I don't want to contribute to overpopulation! EVERY BABY COUNTS!