Admitting the bad thing I do

I wasn't brave enough to post this in relationship forum, that’s why it is going here although I wish I could stop myself typing this. However every time I get a bit SU I text my ex something random or if it is really late like early hours of morning then I just send a blank text, he can just assume I lent on me phone in the night that did happen before by accident once and he is the first person in my contact list so nothing strange there. However I know this is wrong but it's what I do. I don't think he really realizes how I am feeling at those times although part of me has a sneaky suspicion he may realize a little or wonder if that's how I am feeling sometimes. He normally text back but I get the feeling he feels he has to and assume I am sad and desperate, which I sort of am but in a different sense to what he may be thinking. However I never consider how this may be messing with his head or hurting him in my doing that then being cold towards him although there is no way we would get back together or anything like that. Also he now has a new girlfriend so again this is being harder and stranger thing to do considering he told me about her.

Ha anyone else done something like this in the past or is this just something strange I do?

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying. Correct me if I'm wrong or provide additional info.

You call this guy at inconvient times, late night early morning. When there once was an issue you needed him and contacted him. Now you contact him when there are issues. Even if you don't say anything you contact him and you are aware this is getting old to him. Is this correct.

Does this make you strange. No. You are finding comfort in speeking w/ him or comfort in reaching out to him even if you don't talk to him. Where you once found comfort is where you are returning to for comfort. I do that w/ my T sometimes. Not in the middle of the night. But sometimes just a quick chat to know she cares is a huge help. If I get her machine or hang up before she can pick up (I chickened out) I do still feel a since of relief.

I hope this is what your talking about if not I most likely appear way out there, loco.