How dare she...

My mom knows I was raped. (And blames me) and I was tested a while ago. But it came back negative.

Now it's been 9 weeks since I was raped and I am feeling SUPER pregnant. So we are going back for a blood test this time.

But she said if I am, we need to take action before its too late.

I asked her to repeat that.

She said, if we don't want it then we need to take care of it before its too late.

HOW DARE SHE EVEN CONSIDER ABORTION!!!

How do I handle this?!

You don't have to get an abortion if you don't want to. No doctor can make you. However, I would start making a plan on what you want to do, if it's an issue.

So they can't make you do it?

No sweetie, they can't !
Your body, your choice.
So sorry to hear of your rape. Remember rape is an abuse, sick control thing.
Don't even question how short your skirt was, or how you wiggled your hips. Danced, flirted, smiled or took a taxi ride. NO means NO ! End of.
I commend your strength, when Mum blames you.
I sincerely hope, you're not pregnant, you have to get over your rape, that takes time, I can't imagine how that feels.
No one can make you have an abortion.
Hug x

Not legally no, it's illegal for doctors to do anything medical on sexual organs without the patient's consent, minor or not.
That means, they can't do swabs, they can't do inspections, they can't touch your uterus without your consent.

Thank you so much. My mom usually gets her way. S it's good to know I have a say in this.
She doesn't want my baby. But I do...
Right now I just feel sick. But I think it will get better the more time passes.
Thank you for the encouragement.

Don't turn this into an emotional fist fight with your mom. She has your opinion, and you have yours. It's your decision.

What you do need to do is prove that you are serious about having a baby if you are indeed pregnant. Even though you never asked for this, you have been turned, practically over night, into an adult. You now have to make adult decisions. I hope you can find someone to talk to there that can be supportive. I think you should seek out your school counselor or nurse. You shouldn't have to go this way alone, and you will need guidance.

You need to start by making plans, long term and short term. What will you do before the baby is born. What will you do after it's born. What will happen to your education. Will you put the baby up for adoption or keep it for yourself? If you're going to put it up for adoption, do all the research yourself. If you're going to keep the baby, then start reading books... on being pregnant, on parenting, everything. You mentioned your father won't help provide at all, except to give you a job. What kind of job will it be, will you be able to watch the baby while you're working or will you have to hire a babysitter. You want to make a budget and start saving money to take care of emergencies, but also plan for the future as well (will you help pay for your child's college education? You should start saving now). I know it's overwhelming, and it's a lot to consider and figure out, but you can do it. Prove to your parents that you are responsible enough to have a child, whether or not it was your choice, whether or not they will be supportive. You are going to be this baby's everything. It is going to need you like you've never been needed before, it's going to expect you to take care of it, and to be as prepared as you can. You're going to need more than just love for this child to get by -- figure out what it is, and make it happen as best as you can. Counteract your mom's statement that the baby is unwanted by proving it is wanted by preparing for it's arrival and acting responsibly.

But, really, you need to get a blood test done to determine if you truly are pregnant. It could be something else, something serious. Or it could be you're so anxious about it and stressed, you're giving yourself symptoms and your mind is playing tricks on you.

Also, please talk to someone. Talk to your school nurse or counselor, because not only do you need support on having this child, but you also need support for your rape. You are still dealing with the trauma of it, and your parents are not helping by putting the blame on you. Please be gentle to yourself when no one else will. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of your baby.

My father is willing to let me clean is office for some money. It's not a great job. But he always over pays. So it is ideal for now.

I've been researching, and such, about what to do. And I have somewhat of a plan.

I started saving but my mother need grocery money and SAID she would reimburse me. But I'm still waiting.

I'm trying to take care of myself as much as I can. At least until I know a 100% answer. I've stopped all forms of self harm and abuse to myself. Which is difficult. But I'm trying.

If all goes as planned (probably not) then I will keep the baby and it will be well taken care of.

All I can do it pray and prepare.

So , did you find out for sure?

hey there. you already know my opinion on abortion. We all have opinions enough said. What ever the out come if you are preg. please keep positive. Even an unborn baby can feel your sadness, your stress, you love. When babies are born they remember that love or that hate. It's the difference in happy babies and unhappy babies. They all cry, some even get colic and that's not what I'm talking about. I mean overall. My cousin got preg when she was 17. The dad didn't support mom. Her father was not happy about it and her mom was livid. She did go to church though. A single mom (divorced) who was older took her to all her appointments and was the person she had in the room durring the delivery. This lady was my cousins life line. Eventually her mom forgave her. The baby was beautyful. It was a tough road. She married a man who didn't mind that she had a small child. He wanted it that way actually. He wanted a child small enough to know him as daddy. He didn't want children of his own. After raising this child. He and she now have 3 that are biologically his, plus the one that has known him as daddy forever. Things can work out. I know it feels bleak and hopeless.
But time does heal wounds.

By the way the DR cannot force you to have an abortion, just like they cannot force you to have prenatal care. It's your body an no matter how hard your mom may push you into things you have the final say. You can tell the DR. my mom signed the necessary papers, but I don't want an abortion. Adoption is an option. It would be painful personally but it a very selfless gift. Giving a better opportunity for a brighter future because the baby's needs come first.

What ever you decide it IS your choice. Abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby. You know you can keep it. It will be difficult but you can give that baby the love you never had, the love you feel you deserved, all the love it needs. A childs love is uncontitional, it is the most wonderful love there is.

My thoughts are w/ you as you are coming up on tough decisions. You might not be preg. Let us know what you find out.

Not yet. I made an appointment.

There is no way that your mom can force you to get an abortion. It is your body, your choice. I personally think anyone should be able to get one if they want, and TBH, I wish my mom was like yours.... In a way (although I do not know how she is like). What I mean by that is, ever since I was about 20, she has been persisting that I have kids. She knows my money problems, and still insists I am going to want to have a kid. Sad thing is, I think shes all for teen pregnancies or something... I am scared for my 10/12 year old sisters.....

I'm so sorry. I would be a little scared too. But my mom just doesn't want to believe I am pregnant so she won't take me to the doctor. I know something is wrong and I hope it's not a baby, but that's what it feels like. Either way I still am getting sick so I need a docs opinion.

Goodmorning,

I was just thinking things over again. I am sure your mom doesn't want you to be preg, any more then you do. Could she be in denial. Like any health issue if you know something is wrong and you don't do anything about it you don't have to accept it until an issue is confirmed. No mom wants this for there child. No mother wants to see there own baby (even a grown up/half grown up) one struggle. Just playing devils advocate this morning. Could your mom be scared for you. Could your mom know how difficult it is to take care of a baby?

I hope you find out soon what is up. It does sound like you have started taking care of yourself, no more self harm I believe I read somewhere. I'm not trying to side w/ your mom or anything just thinking what she might be feeling to, it affects her to.

Please continue to keep us updated. Big hugs.