Does age matter?

Is first-time intercourse more painful if you're older rather than younger? I can understand that it would be more painful if you weren't done maturing, but what about after?

I do not know. I think tearing of the hymen is why there is pain. I don't think age matters. If it is still intact regardless of age it will be uncomfortable. It can also grow back if left undisturbed for many years then you get to experience that pain all over again just like it was the first time.

Why do you ask?

I don't think age is a factor other than that hormones might make it harder for you to produce adequate lubrication (like during menopause for example), but that is easily remedied with over the counter lubricant, which I'd say most of us use at some point or another.

i dont think age matters much either except maybe for the mental part.. you might overthink and worry more when you are older.

I had always heard it hurts less the older you are because by the time you are older the hymen is more likely to have broken down due to other things (GYN exams, exercise, other sexual experimentation). This does fit with my experience. I was 33 my first time and there was no pain or bleeding.

I guess it is hard to know though because everyone only has one first time!

EJ

Exactly - nobody can answer the question.

I was 20 with no pain and no bleeding.

Right. I just wondered.

Since you only get to have a first time once there is no way to tell. Perhaps if you are older you are more mature and maybe less apprehensive.

I'm curious of what the definition of "older" is here?

Good question. Twenty vs fifteen? Or fifty versus twenty five?

20's vs teenaager.

Probably does not matter at all. As explained above, no way to tell.

I used to be a medical interpreter and I once interpreted during a gynecological exam and the patient was a middle aged woman long divorced from her husband and not sexually active for more than a decade or even two. She said that the exam hurt her very much, much more so than it used to back when she was sexually active. So maybe if you do no use this part of the body, it becomes particularly hard to relax it.

In the health books I read related to sexuality and the TV shows I watched, as you grow older, the hymen may grow thinner or even separate on its own, as Eliza mentioned. But that's not true for everyone, so it's basically a crapshoot. When you said "older", I thought you meant like in your 30's or 40's. I would think in the 20's your hymen would still be pretty intact. But if you're worried about pain, the basic advice I've always heard is, make sure your lover is tender with you, touches you in ways you like (say something if you like certain touches vs. others), is patient, and helps you get aroused. If you're aroused, you're less likely to be uncomfortable. Some people have pain (like me) and some people don't.