[sadie1]

I was sexually abused as a child from 7 -10 years old by 2 different "family" members. I never told anyone til my early 20's, even then it was pushed aside. I was sexually premiscuous in my late teens and early 20's. I have had bad sexual experiences in some of my relationships. Now that I am sober i dont like being intimate. the drinking always put me at ease for intimacy, now that its gone i dont know how to act without it when it comes to that. I know the meds i take decrease desire as well. I feel bad for my boyfriend, but i cant change how i feel. I wonder if he should come to therapy with me or not. I dont want to lose this relationship because of the inability to be intimate. Any suggestions?

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

I suggest you invite him for a few sessions with the agreement of you're T and continue to work on comfort and trust.

[ladytiger]

i wasn't sexually abused by relatives, although, my dad is a pedophile he raped my 1st born half sister whom i dont know but my 2nd oldest sister told me the story. my dad would act so stupid to get a 10-17 yr old's attention yet my mom does nothing just scream at him and call the girls *****s/sluts and blaming them.

my sexual abuse goes back to meeting guys offline from chatrooms in high school nothing but constant verbal abuse and lies. since i wasn't getting any love at home, my source was to find it elsewhere. it does affect intimacy with my bf i hated sex in the past because of the abuse like i said, sex isnt fun if you are constantly being called names. i see a therapist...big deal... we talked barely about that part and moved on. i feel i have dealt with it myself long ago after high school....

[ilive4music]

Originally Posted by sadie1

I was sexually abused as a child from 7 -10 years old by 2 different "family" members. I never told anyone til my early 20's, even then it was pushed aside. I was sexually premiscuous in my late teens and early 20's. I have had bad sexual experiences in some of my relationships. Now that I am sober i dont like being intimate. the drinking always put me at ease for intimacy, now that its gone i dont know how to act without it when it comes to that. I know the meds i take decrease desire as well. I feel bad for my boyfriend, but i cant change how i feel. I wonder if he should come to therapy with me or not. I dont want to lose this relationship because of the inability to be intimate. Any suggestions?

I think therapy will help....you need to get help ...can you be more specific about what you mean about not want to be able to be intimate..??

I've had issues with sexual abuse as well, and it has not affected the way I feel about men, or my sex drive. I mean I want to have a relationship. I think it has made me nervous about opening up to a guy....and that's why I sometimes avoid relationships.......

[Big Mama]

I have been raped in the past by a boy friend, raped many times by that same guy. I have a history of child sexual abuse as well.

I can't do the intimacy thing. I don't like holding hands, kissing, cuddling, just the normal touchy feely married people stuff, that doesn't involve the bed room is kinda out of the question. When it comes to the bedroom stuff, OMG, I have do desire, no need, sex is dull and is more of a thing you do cause men have to have it.

I am in T. My H and I are in T together. We have been married for 19 years. Please address this before you get to serious. Invite him to come to T with you. He needs to understand and you need to address these issues with and with out him. You need to address them for you, and then you need to address then for yall.

I guess it affects folks differently. It causes issues for me but not for others. I wish you the best of luck.

[healingme4me]

My childhood abuses were light compared to marriage.
The ability to be intimate, after abuse, requires a tremendous amount of trust, and a tremendous amount of insight into their thinking. Well, at least, I know that's what it took, to move beyond past. It's a difficult step.
Can your bf go with you to t session?

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