Having a hard time making female friends, can anyone relate?

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LOL! Cats are the best! How old are your cats? I have two also. It is hard to relate to other females as you get older! Sorry to hear about your friend with the special needs kid. That must take up a lot of her free time, especially with a b.f around.

Have you tried meeting other women at meetup.com? It's free to join. There are groups just for women of certain age groups, and some, but not many are just for women w/o kids if you care to look into that. PM me anytime if you'd like to talk! Us shy introverts need all the friends that we can get!

I'm in a male dominated field and it's pretty much most of what I think about, apart from positive psychology and the brain, so I don't have much to talk about with those who aren't in the same kind of career. I don't mind women, I just kind of having nothing to talk about with them. I'm not into crafts or baking or sewing or any of that.

I see. Well, I'm not into some of the more traditional female things myself such as wanting to have kids and talking about them non-stop, ugh! I don't always want to talk about my relationship or men and sex all the time like a lot of women tend to do. It's so annoying at times. It's almost as if they have nothing better to talk about at times! Also, a lot of women are overly obsessive about the above things IMHO!

It's like, get a life! Get some hobbies! I do like clothes, make-up, and talking about men and relationships sometimes, but not all the damn time! I also like talking about stuff that's happening in the world, traveling, books, movies, t.v, cats, etc...

Hello, I'm much younger than most on here but i have difficulty making female friends.

Women only really like to talk about shopping, shoes, men or talk negatively about other women....whereas a i enjoy talking about life, animals etc etc

I have always been called weird by females, they just dont want to know me, right now i have 1 friend (kind-off) who is in another city
some say i am odd because i am too nice.....maybe i just don't understand the concept of friendship

I don't think I can articulate this well, but I had a thought about friendships the other day. Does anyone else feel like they might be longing for something that doesn't really exist? I sometimes feel like I have this desire to know a lot of people, and that other people are more well-liked and closer to each other than I am... like there is some kind of inner circle I'm never quite part of.

But then I finally get to the inner circle, and I'm like 'this is all there is?'

I don't know how to describe this in a general way.

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Hi, I was sort of like you when I was younger. I still like to talk about shopping, men, and girly things at times, but that's NOT all that I talk about all the time! It's tougher to relate to younger women at times, and women in general when you're not at the same place in life as they are when it comes to having a b.f, being married, having kids, having a career, and either you or they don't have some or all of those things.

It seems like a lot of women tend to be to competitive with each other when it comes to all of that and more. It's so lame and pathetic, but that's just the way it seems to be at times. A lot of people, especially women tend to shun those women who are different from them in some way. It's sad but true. I for one don't have any kids. I don't want any kids, and for that reason, I think that other women are jealous of the fact that I have the freedom that they willing gave up to please their families, b.f, husband, or a combination of all of that. OK, whatever, ugh!

I think that they also hate the fact that they might've taken career paths that they hated to just because their family or society compelled them to do it. Instead of following their dreams, they did what they had to in order to please everyone else unlike me, and that is where part of the resent resides. O.K, like I'm at fault for any of that? LOL! Whatever! I'm so glad that I was never a follower and never will be. Follow your own path in life, and don't ever live your life for other people, no matter what. Doing so will only lead to misery.

So, since you are still young, go after what YOU, and NOT your parents, significant other, relatives, teachers, bosses, or anyone else tells you what to do. Let alone the B.S society tells you what you should do such as being married with kids before the age of 30! Go after your dreams in life! Travel, have fun, and don't ever live your life to please anyone other than yourself! Trust me on that! I'm in my early 40's, and I almost ended up hating my life and myself due to being brain washed to please others for so long!

Oh, and stop being nice to people who don't deserve your kindness! Know how to be tough and stand up for yourself when you need to! Learn when to say no and mean it! There will always be those manipulative people out there who will tell you that you're being "selfish" or whatever, but don't ever listen to them! They always have an agenda! Listen to your gut, and only be kind to those who deserve your kindness!

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No, it's not just you. I often feel like I'll never fit in anywhere no matter what. But it's better than being a puppet or a phony in any way. Maybe these people are so desperate to fit in that they'll do just about anything to get people to like them? Have you seen any classic teen shows like "The Breakfast Club", "Mean Girls (the first one), "American Pie" or anything like that before? If not, you should.

All of them are really good shows that show how extreme peer pressure can get to us, even as adults. There are more adult versions of those shows, but if you pay attention to most shows and movies, there is usually an element of conformity and punishment or abandonment for those who refuse to conform to the basic group standards and behavior. That is why I dislike and avoid those kind of groups and people. That is just so lame and limiting IMHO!

Is it just me or are most women out there still living in middle and high school days? Older women still acting like teens, being pushy, needy, etc all of the above! I couldn't fit in with women in the past because some of them had good families whereas I didn't and still don't yet I was blamed for it! They talk about travel, good food, etc something I never had the chance to experience because I was held back from experiencing those types of things. My boyfriend has showed me good food as I was used to crap food at home with zero care!

I will be 29 at the end of this month and who else can I make friends with? Like a lot of us have said, don't fit into the whole white picket fence! Women my age having kids and women younger with kids ugh! I love shopping, nail products, skin care/hair care, sex topics, etc but life isn't about drama! I haven't even gone clubbing yet which I wanna do but women my age are done with that as I want to have fun!

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Sorry to hear that. I agree with what you said. A lot of women, even the older ones do still have a lame h.s mentality. Some will talk about their h.s days still and it makes me want to roll my eyes hard at them. Who cares? That was a long time ago! Ugh! Also, to many women talk way to much about their kids, the ones who have them. Worse yet is the women who obsess about getting b.fs, or about their b.f's, and their ex b.f's, ugh!

To many women tend to ditch their female friends once they get a guy which is sad. I always end up feeling hurt and used when that happens as if I was never their real friend and that they were just using me to for companionship, or to meet guys until they found one. Why do so many women ditch their female friends once they get a guy? Why not just keep them still and go out with them once in awhile and not devote 100% of your time to a guy who might end up leaving you one day?

Sorry to hear about how you had it rough growing up. My life was sort of like that to in a way. Our dad wouldn't allow us to bring home certain food, and he was the main bread winner, so we had to be sneaky about thing at times. I had to get creative with making food that was allowed. I'd often make tortillas with cheese and beans in it for myself and my younger sis and chex mix.

I'm glad that things are better for you now! Things are so much better for me now too! Another thing about a lot of women in general, is that they tend to be competitive, they get jealous easily, they tend to gossip to much, talk to much in general, they tend to be to passive-aggressive, overly judgmental, critical, and they usually have a hard time being direct and saying what they really mean. Am I off base here? From my own experience, it doesn't seem.like it.

This describes adolescent girls. A lot of adult females still behave like that. Their lives must be devoid of substance.

Passive-aggressive behavior is very difficult to deal with. I don't bother with people who do that to me. I'm the type of lady who deals with conflict directly. It doesn't scare me. Mind games are vicious and unnecessary. Resolving the conflict and moving on is so much easier to deal with.

Yes! I've seen those movies - and a lot of what happens back then continues into adulthood. There probably is a reason I always feel like I am on the outskirts of these groups - I really am.

I also just sometimes wonder, though - how connected are other people? Maybe we just think that other people are out there having wonderful social lives, but really no one has it any better than we do, but our perceptions are somehow skewed and we think there should be more?

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I agree with what you said 100%! I'm the same way! I like for people to be direct and upfront with me! I'm almost always that way unless I can't be for some reason. Passive-aggressive behavior is one of my pet peeves!

Why is that a lot of women in general have such a hard time being direct with their friends and other people? I don't get it. Why say yes to going out for example when they really mean no and end up cancelling plans at the last minute?

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You're right about that sadly! I've always felt like a misfit. I've never really fit in with any groups ever. I was never one to conform to much, and I'm a free thinker, so that didn't help, but eh, I'm not that desperate to fit in!

I do so much better with like minded people one on one! Maybe you're right about what you said. Perhaps the grass just looks greener on the other side because it's fertilized with B.S?

I'm not your age (closer to half), but I find it hard because I have autism and the majority of girls are very social. I have a few friends that are girls, but they aren't average chatty into gossip kind of girls. The two I can think of on the top of my head are into fashion, but are not snobbish and are highly educated yet modest. One is become a vet and the other is becoming a psychologist for research. 95% of my friends are guys because I can relate to them much better because of similar interest and how we interact socially.

I would focus on possibly finding a female friend that has a similar interest as you. Meetup is a good site that could help if you look for a certain interest like "kayaking" for example. Idk if this had been said before since I didn't read all the pages on this thread.

You had me literally laughing out loud with that line - I wasn't expecting it!

I'm going through one of those phases where I feel like I must be antagonizing people.

May I ask where you live and what kind of women live there? I am a third generation professional woman from a family of accomplished and sophisticated women. Some of us like to cook, but nobody I know does crafts, knits or any of the other things you mention. Can't you look for others with similar interests, outside of work?

Hvert, lol! I'm glad that I was able to make you laugh- I have to admit that I stole that from some page though! Yeah, me too-

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Hi, I live in N. Ca. It's different from S. Ca.in some ways. Most of the people up here work in the tech industry. If they don't, then they are a professional white collar worker with careers usually. There are a lot of older people with kids who live around here.

I'm sorry if my generalizations offended you in any way. I was just speaking from my own personal experiences. I have tried to connect with professional women who seemed nice enough as well as other housewives with kids, and those who don't have kids, but it's really tough making female friends up here.

I get the impression that these women have a specific set of criteria that I don't meet. The career women seem to want to be friends with other professional women, and the stay at home mom's seem to want to be friends with other moms, so I can't really win it seems like.

There aren't to many women up here that I've met that are married stay at home wives with no kids. I have tried meeting lots of different kinds of people, some older, and some younger too. I'm not into knitting. I do cook, but I have other interests that I'm much more passionate about such as movies, music, and stuff like that. I'm kind of different and not as conservative as the people around me, so that doesn't help matters any I guess. It gets a lot harder to meet other women as you get older it seems like!

Agreed. my ex-friend felt since I got a boyfriend in 05 that she felt like I ditched her - really? How many times has she ditched me to be with her 2 friends (both I know from high school)? She has always left me hanging and she never took responsibility for it told me I am just jealous of the other 2 friends. Nothing to be jealous, I find one friend of hers to be whiney and annoying she has a very annoying voice. Recently, the ex-friend tried to add me on FB and blocked her because there is nothing to talk about nor did I ever receive an apology 5 yrs ago. Back then, I told her I feel I have a right to be with my bf all the time as you never had time for me and you are jealous because you have no boyfriend anymore. Wait, didn't you sleep with your ex boyfriend knowing he has a girlfriend and you still refuse to tell her? I don't know if she ever told his then girlfriend back then about them hooking up and he thought ex friend and him were gonna get back together. She got the nerve to be pissed because I got a boyfriend?! She is married with a daughter now which surprised me.

Men don't seem to ditch their male friends for a girl that much like women ditch their friends for a guy that is happening too much. I think a lot of women don't seem to know how to split their time with boyfriend and friends. I had a friend who was with her boyfriend and his friends all the time, she only came back when they had fights and when they broke up. Women need to be brought up to split your time equally and give some space when you are with your boyfriend.

Canada, and I do look for others. I joined several meetup groups including one just for women, where all the members turned out to be university students working towards CS degrees who ignored me completely. I go to relevant meetups and there are no women there.

(nothing wrong with uni students - just that I'm in my 30's with 2 kids and no degree, I don't have anything to talk with them about even if they didn't ignore me).

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Sorry to hear that! That sucks! To hell with those stuck up women! They're probably just cliquey you know whats. Not all meet up groups are like that. Sometimes you do have to talk to people first which is hard for a shy person like me to do, especially alone in a big group!

Maybe you can just make small talk about movies, or something that you might have in common like music or what you're studying? It takes time for some people to open up before you find out that you might have more in common with them than you think. So try talking to some of the friendlier and more approachable women a bit more. It won't hurt to try IMHO.

I run into that sort of thing a lot - I go to something that sounds interesting and find that everyone is twice my age or otherwise just at a very different stage of things. I'm also in my 30s and sometimes wonder if people our age are just hanging out at their houses.

Hvert, it does seem as if that's the case at times. Maybe a lot of women who are in the 30-40 something age range are so busy taking care of kids, their careers, or both, that they don't have time to go out and meet new people.

In my case, it's usually one of those things or both. There are tons of single groups, stuff for younger people, and mom's and professionals up here. It seems to me that most of the women at these meetup groups are mostly looking to connect with other professional women, or women with kids.

If they're single, they're more interested in meeting a guy than friends it seems like. Meeting new female friends who aren't out to just use other women to hang out with until they meet a guy shouldn't have to be this hard at our age! Ugh! Maybe I'm just meeting all the wrong people so far? Idk.

I have 0 friends Girls I am scared of

I know what you mean us girls are nuts. I found location is part of it to where I live now I have 0 girl friends myself I joined a social group in the new destination I am going to and was so surprised there not clicky or Caty as previously stated where moms that work and stay at homers judge so for me its perfect and I'm excited about moving and they are all ages so that's cool.BC I'm a young mom. So maybe Google your interest what you like to do or if you have Facebook look at groups etc..maybe you will find friends in the midsts of just doing an activity you enjoy. Good luck