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Old Oct 05, 2014, 11:12 PM
chromegirl chromegirl is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
I need a hug. I am having a hard time right now. I don't know if it's me and my depression/anxiety (doing better than I was a few months ago, but I'm still not quite me yet), the fact that I just started working full-time after years of working only half-time, my teenage daughter with recently diagnosed Asperger's, my ex-husband who is ok to deal with on the surface but still treats me like I am the secretary of the family - I do all the kids' appointments, talk to their teachers, you know the drill. And so much more.

But right now the thing on my back is guilt - guilt because I had a major meltdown with my kids earlier tonight. The straw that broke the camel's back was my son realizing he'd forgotten his backpack with homework in it at his dad's. At 9;30 on a Sunday night. After an exhausting weekend where I feel like I am already way behind. And my daughter going on about how much she loves her online friends, just after going out to a dinner with REAL friends where I had to literally pull her iphone away from her so that she would engage with people at the table. SO frustrating!

So after all that i just railed and cried and cried. I think I scared them. I am not proud of myself and I apologized profusely, told them I love them no matter what.

I feel like a heel. I am not new to this- I've been separated for almost 5 years but only have been working part time up until two weeks ago...and now life is very different. I am just so so tired and I dont want to fail my kids.
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MDD & GAD

Current meds: Effexor XR (300 mg), Trazodone (150 mg) for sleep

Just got off Seroquel, amen and hallelujah!

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norwegianwoman

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  #2  
Old Oct 06, 2014, 12:59 AM
Yoda's Avatar
Yoda Yoda is offline
who reads this, anyway?
 
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 9,968
You don't have to be perfect to raise healthy kids. My son was a terror from age fourteen to eighteen. Sometimes I just had to get away from him to calm myself.
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
  #3  
Old Oct 09, 2014, 03:29 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
((((chromegirl))))

It's exhausting being a parent, never mind, a single one and then add your new job hours, it's ok to cut yourself some slack and be gentle on yourself.

I don't see, showing vulnerabilities to children as failing them, it's more showing them your realness as a human being. Instead of the pedestal, wind up seen as a real woman, with real struggles, real emotions. They'll learn compassion and empathy.
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