afraid to ask but will

afraid to ask ... cause it seems to be a senistive issue with women...

At the first sign of gray, I dyed my hair.. course in my family gray happens late 20's, early 30's...

starting to say.... to heck with dyeing my hair, I like it the natural way....

BUT...

best friend says "don't stop.... really don't stop...you wouldn't
look very good"

so is it an individual decision?

Yeah, some women (and men) just go with the flow. I don't dye my hair, and I'm getting a few white ones. Of course, I have an issue with my panic disorder regarding that, but you won't be the only one out there, if you decide to go natural!

Some best friend!

It's absolutely an individual decision. Some women look fabulous with grey hair. I can't imagine Emmy Lou Harris without her gorgeous grey hair. Whatever makes YOU feel good is what you should go with.

I'm a natural redhead, so my hair turns white rather than grey. I have a few white hairs coming in but they blend with my blonde highlights. I can't imagine ever letting my hair go all white. I'm terribly pale and I think I would look ghastly with all white hair against this very white skin. Some women can carry it off, though. It's YOUR hair, do what YOU want with it!

of course it is an individual decision :-)

i discovered about 4 grey hairs last year (and i'm only 28!)
i pulled them out but worried a little about what i would do were they to recurr. thought a lot about whether i'd pull them again (you can't do that indefinately!) or whether i'd leave them be, or whether i'd start dying my hair... my hair is very dark brown and so they will look fairly distinctive.

one of the professors back home had lovely long thick hair that was this steely iron grey colour. i'm fairly sure she didn't dye it it was just left natural. she looked fairly distinguished. one of my friends mothers was getting these grey streaks at the front and that looked fairly distinguished too. i'm sure that there are different patterns of going grey and some of them are more attractive than others, however.

i decided... that when they recurred i'd leave them be.

on the upside they haven't grown back. last year was a bit of a stressful time for me workwise and they haven't recurred yet. but i'm fairly sure they will. and when they do i think i'll leave them be.

i want to try and accept my body gracefully if at all possible.

and those little rituals that we do to help us feel youthful, well, i guess they all start to add up. personal decision of course. but i guess i have trouble with this notion (supported by some men and also some women) that a womens only value is in her youthful and beautiful appearance. if you want to be taken seriously as a person... i'm sure there are more useful things you could do with your time... but individual decision, of course.

hmmm.....i agree taht pretty much everyhting is individual desissions.
the problem with siciety that sometimes "forces" itself on us. i odn`t say it in case of your friends...

i suppose, although i am not an expert, that you may try both bossibilities and see what you think looks better...?

I was hi lighting my hair to keep the gray down but when I lost my job I couldn't afford to do it anymore. So nature has forced me to adjust my thinking to how I look. Do I like it...no...but it is a natrual process.

i'm 63 and have very little gray. but every so often, i dye it reddish brown because it really makes me look so much better........i have always wanted to be a REDHEAD. my grandmother had red hair. so, when i get the itch, i dye........... and it is a natural dye and just fades out. no root stuff.

I'm only 16 but I think you should go with how you feel about your hair. I dye my hair, and if you dye your hair sometimes it doesn't turn out right, some people like it, others don't. That's just how some people are. Some people like my hair red, some like it blondish, some like it light brown...dark brown... etc. People always have different opinions on everything, but if you like your hair natural, I would go with that. Just do what you like. I know your best friend is being a good friend for you, but do what you want. Plus I'd be upset with what your friend said, but if you do what you like, I'd feel more better about myself.

Plus having grey hair looks great on many people. I had a teacher last year who had short gray hair with some white in it. She wasn't old either, maybe 30's/40's. But she looked amazing with her hair. Just don't be ashamed of having gray hair, it can be a beautiful thing, not always a bad thing.

Good luck!

My mom got the prettiest silver hair starting at 26. I was hoping I'd get it too, but haven't. If I ever do, I'll probably keep it because hers was so pretty! But who knows. Its my hair. So its my choice.

grey hair doesn't bother me in the least.......i just like a change now and then

I started going gray after my traumatic divorce and it really doesn't suit me so I dye my hair every 2 months or so.

I pretty much agree with everyone in that it is an individual decision and a matter of personal choice. You would need to do what makes you feel comfortable and happy.

Good luck.

I wish I could dye my hair. But I'm glad that my hair will be white, as opposed to gray, like my grandmom's. I always thought white hair was so pretty on some women.

My mom dyes her hair a medium brown every two months or so. Most people we meet think she's my sister or twin (I'm 23, she's 52 and if my older sister goes out with us they think we're triplets ). She looks great for her age so she thought the white hair she was getting wouldn't really match the rest of her too well. I think it is an individual decision... you should do whatever makes you feel the best.

My mom also has beautiful silver hair.... not me.. but I do dye my hair so that it stays a nice (non dull) red.... Today I will be 7LA Lightest Auburn.

I have a fantasy that as I get older I will have short short hair that I will dye purple. That would blow some people's minds including my current employer's so until I have more pinache I will put that off.

Could be fun though.

If I could have my mom's hair I would go for it.... though she was never a redhead.

its your hair, need i say more?....... i have a question? since when should age dictate how good i can b at giving support! i mean, just coz im a kid seems to immediately mean thai i cant empathise with someone with marrage problems! grrr. im. not. thick. sorry 4 that

((((( selfharmer )))))

I'm so sorry you've been made to feel that you can't give support. Age doesn't dictate what kind of experiences people have had that can influence the kind of support they can give. Please feel free to PM me or any mod/admin if you're feeling a lack of support ok?

This thread is about coloring hair, so I just wanted to make sure we stay on topic here. I do a temporary black on my hair. It doesn't damage the hair like permanent and doesn't get the obvious roots. I had a hairdresser say that its actually protecting my hair to use the temporary color, since I'm darkening and not lightening.

If I let my hair grow in naturally, I'd have salt and pepper hair which is really very ugly. I have to dye my hair now. It's too late to go back. I dyed it a couple of shades lighter then my natural color so when it starts growing in, it looks really funky. Dark brown hair and shiny grey roots against light brown hair. Not a pretty picture. Do as Fay did if you're going to dye it, use a natural dye so it will fade out.

My natural color is dark brown, and i've been doing it lighter since i have the dark underneath, looks really cute actually. Well, I just dyed my hair since my roots were coming in and it came out medium brown instead of medium blonde

I'm so nervous to go to school tomorrow as a brunette for the first time in forever. Agh!

You most definitely have your own choice as to how you wear your hair!! As my dearest auntie puts it: "Hair is a renewable resource". I, like Jess, am only sixteen, but I'm currently entertaining visions of having long white hair when I'm an old lady, done up in a braid. I'll probably change my mind when I actually start going gray, but who knows, right? Do whatever makes YOU feel the most comfortable, and let society (and "friends") say what they will.

My hair isn't that bad now (thank goodness!)

But today my friend made a remark in the car "Isn't she really old?" and she was referring to my boyfriend's mother who is in her early 40's. And then I said "My mom is in her late 40's but since she dies her hair you probably think she's younger, if she didn't dye her hair she'd look like Mike (my boyfriend)'s mom." My friend was just kinda like "oh...."

But many people make gray/white hair look beautiful.