confused

Today, I feel confused bout things that I have no control over as a women ( because the other party is a man.) Is this normal... I want to control him but know I cant and its upsetting me does that make since?

Hi adj92

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Yes, this does make sense to me the way that you have described this to me.

I get very confused too sometimes if I feel that I have no control of certain things as I am the kind of person who likes to have some reasonable explanation in my mind or at least clarity as to why I am thinking certain things.

And it can be distressing if I start to wonder if my thoughts are "normal".

Because when I think this I have to ask myself what is normal?

I don't know really adj if I have ever come up with a definition of normal in my personal life.

When I try to think of this word normal I think to myself normal works like this for me:

I ask myself are my thoughts / behaviour interfering with my day to day functioning? Like as in am I possibly dwelling a bit much on my thoughts / behaviours? When possibly I could be doing other things?

And then I think to myself well yes if I am becoming a bit pre occupied with these thoughts then yes this must be something that I must seek to address so that I can figure out the underlying cause.

I think this way adj because as humans we really are allowed to all have different tastes in what we think about and have subjective opinions on issues.

It's about whether or not these may be impacting us - and more specifically - impacting us negatively - that really counts.

This is my interpretation of this.

I hope that this is a little bit useful.

Please take care of yourself.

Yep that's normal. I am a control freak.

You are making perfect sense. I ran across this same problem today as a matter of fact.

Thanks for sharing. It made me feel a little bit on the normal side.

Best wishes, Gayle
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YES I CAN RELATE AND IVE HAD ONE OF THOSE DAYS TODAY AS WELL.

What is it that you are trying to control? Sometimes I have to let go and hope things will turn out for the best. Letting go can be a relief from trying to control everything.

Thank god I am not the only one... thanks

Nope you are most definitely not the only one. Were you talking about your boyfriend when you said you want to control "him" but feel that you can't? I can relate in that way as I feel like I want to have more control over my boyfriend and it is not healthy for either of us.

I think it's normal. As humans, most of us have a deep need to control the things in our lives. But you have to realize that you simply can not control each other. You can't control him any more than you can control the weather.
The more you try, the more stress you'll put on yourself.

As a matter of fact, the only thing we really CAN control is how we react to things. Maybe try asking him for what you want... See if you can come to some agreements. Hope this helps a little!