[l00king4answers79]

I don't know why, but I can be a very paranoid person, especially in relationships.

I'm insecure and I know that, but not as much about my looks as just lack of security emotionally in the relationship... if that makes sense?

My boyfriend asked for a two week break about a week and a half ago saying he wasn't feeling motivated to lose weight or save money or study harder for school and he thought he would be able to do all of those things if he was single. It broke my heart.

But then five days later he calls me saying that he messed up that he wasn't motivated he just missed me and asked me out to dinner the next day. We went and talked about our relationship, he apologized over and over again, telling me how much he loves me and asking me to take him back.

I did, but now I'm worried I can't make him happy, he cancels plans on me often because he isn't feeling well. He's got social/agoraphobia problems and doesn't sleep well and is tired a lot of the time. But every time he cancels it feels like he just doesn't want to see me. I've shared my feelings with him and he's reassured me that he loves me and it's not because he doesn't want to be around me.

Any tips on how to get over this fear and get back to normal with him?

Thanks in advance for your replies.

[healingme4me]

It really doesn't sound like it's you that needs to change. It sounds like he's inadequate in maintaining a healthy relationship. Cancellation of plans frequently, it's not encouraging to read about. It's not displaying commitment to the relationship. And now it's eating away at you, leaving you questioning if it's you and asking yourself how you can change. No need to excuse this under the label of agoraphobia, it's up to him to work through this to maintain his relationship with you. Leave you feeling special instead of flawed.

[l00king4answers79]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

It really doesn't sound like it's you that needs to change. It sounds like he's inadequate in maintaining a healthy relationship. Cancellation of plans frequently, it's not encouraging to read about. It's not displaying commitment to the relationship. And now it's eating away at you, leaving you questioning if it's you and asking yourself how you can change. No need to excuse this under the label of agoraphobia, it's up to him to work through this to maintain his relationship with you. Leave you feeling special instead of flawed.

Thanks for the advise!

The thing is, when we are together, he's so sweet and does make me feel special! I try to be understanding because his life has not been easy, he's gone through a lot.

He really does work hard to make up for the times he cancels, idk.... I think it is just me, I'm just so insecure to begin with. I'm hoping with time comes more security.

Thank you.