[LiteraryLark]

If I were to adopt, I would like to adopt a child with down syndrome or other special needs. Is this something achievable? I've always wondered how adoption works and if to specifically ask for a special needs child is something that can be done.

[childofchaos831]

Asking for a special needs child can definitely be done. I believe there are actually groups out there that keep lists or files on the children in the system that have certain needs, like down's syndrome or dwarfism. A lot of time, potential parents don't want to adopt these children or those who do can't find any in their area. That's why there are organizations for helping these kids get adopted.

Not be mean, LiteraryLark, but why do you want to adopt a special needs child?

A special needs child has already experienced trauma of being rejected by their parents and put into foster care. How would you be a stable parent to that special needs child who may have their own mental health issues like anxiety or depression or a diagnosed mental disorder?

What happens to your child, if you decide you can't handle the responsibilities? Or, if you need to "take a break" and go "inpatient" for whatever reason? I think you're biting off more than you can chew, wanting to adopt a special needs child. They aren't pets. You can't just play with them and give them treats and change their litterbox whenever it suits you. Special needs children require 24/7 constant care and from adults who have unwavering compassion and are mentally strong enough to handle any crisis or problem related to their special needs child's care.

Instead of adoption, why don't you become a Big Sister to mentally disabled children and spend time with a child as a volunteer? It's not permanent, and it will give you the chance to spend time with a special needs child without being fully committed like a parent. I think if you do that first, you will test your own limits and find out if adoption of a special needs child will be something that you could financially and emotionally handle on a 24/7 basis.

[winter loneliness]

Good advice. ^

The ARC and other organizations can use volunteers to provide respite for parents of special-needs kids. I have worked with this population in the past. It can be very emotionally difficult. Try volunteer respite. You have to go thru a training session and they usually have time commitment of several hours a week.

I very much suggest you try this first.

Edit- Btw bipolar people can and do have kids. It is just more difficult. I am a single mother of two kids, one is asperger's. I am also, bipolar 1.

[childofchaos831]

I think by the time that lark is ready and able to adopt, those won't be concerns. Also, adoption agencies do ask a lot of questions a ndx try very hard to make sure the prospective parent is able to take care of the child. I'm sure lark was merely asking out of curiosity right now than going out tomorrow to get a kid. The original post did start with an "if" iirc. Also, I know a few people who adopted and they waited a long time to be sure they were ready. It is a big decision, and it costs a pretty penny too. Not something that can be done spur of the moment.

[LiteraryLark]

I am asking if it is possible to adopt a special needs child, not if I am capable of raising a special needs child. I will not argue this.

[88Butterfly88]

I think you probably can ask for a special needs child, yes. I'd personally see if they'd let you foster a special needs child and then if it works out maybe there is the possibility of adopting them. I think this is a really nice thing to do by the way.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I am asking if it is possible to adopt a special needs child, not if I am capable of raising a special needs child. I will not argue this.

yes it is possible just like its possible to adopt a non special needs child... here in america anyone can choose to adopt, go through the classes, go through the home studies, release their mental and physical health records and go through the psych evals required, then be put on the list as a person who would like to adopt a child....

also from reading the posts in this thread I can tell you that not all special needs children go through having mental disorders, abandonment and so on. many children at birth their parents can not take care of them to to their own finances, their own health issues or life circumstances decide to put their child up for adoption. in turn they go directly from the hospital to the new parents that want to adopt them, or into special foster homes that adoption agencies use for special needs children, the special needs children most times in foster care either private or state.

to get on your locations adoption list contact your department of human services or look in your phone directory (online or off) for adoption agencies in your location. they will tell you the whole process for getting on the various adoption listings...

i can tell you from having friends who have adopted. the process is very long, years long. it isnt something where you walk in the door sign up and you get a child. they are very thorough and leave nothing to chance. Only you can decide whether you are ....capable... of taking care of a special needs child. but these agencies will be looking at things like your finances, what your home life is like, whether you are mentally stable, physically able to handle being a parent... some parts of the process may make you very angry and rightly so, but adoption, its about whats best for the child not whats best for you kind of thing.

my point yes its possible for you or anyone else in america to adopt a special needs child............. but whether they are able to mentally, physically and financially make it through the process and then spend the next 20-30 years caring for this child is another matter. (the reason they factor in 20-30 years is because special needs children are usually delayed in many different ways which causes them to need a parents or guardians help well into adulthood.)

my suggestion is to read your past posts and factor into those posts having a child who may need many surgeries, many medications, cost of health insurance, food clothing, shelter, age and special doctors, ... example my friends down syndrome child was born with out a palate, as the child developed needed braces, coclear implant, stomach surgery.... the child is only 4 yrs old, with many more challenges ahead of him....

yes its possible and yes, only you know whether you are ....capable... of adopting a special needs child.

[hexacoda]

I think it may be possible. Our adoption was finalized after I had a manic/psychotic episode.