Being told this by men a lot

I am single because I became picky after being abused by several men In my life.that has caused me to have trust issues with men.have a crush on a old male friend but he thinks of me as a sister

How about: "I'm not picky, I just have high standards."

Or

"Did I miss something? Is marriage mandatory now? I must have missed that emergency alert...I guess it's time for a new phone...is there one that you'd recommend?"

Fair play to you UCLAFan for carving out your own path and standing your ground (not easy to do in patriarchal society). My ex-husband was abusive; being married to him felt like being in prison. That is one of several reasons why I don't want to marry again. However, I can see that marriage works for some folks, it just seems hard for them to afford me the same empathy.

The older I get, the less I care to be honest. Though of course I am not negating your frustration...been there friend!!!

My answer to that would be "Well, I keep meeting rude men like you so I haven't felt compelled to marry."

I love it how people think its ok to question someone (many times women)about why they are not in a relationship or why they do not have kids. As if its their business. Would you ask someone with kids in a relationship.." so why did you have kids and marry? Did you really want to bring people into this world and ruin your freedom?" Its the same thing. I have kids and I never would question another woman's choice to not have kids or marry. What if she is infertile or cant have children? Its not my business.

I have sexuality issues but I usually find people understand when I tell them I have mh problems. Otherwise I just say I like being single, which I do, because I can do what I want when I want, and the whole motherhood thing, well I know I wouldn't make a good mother. But really it's none of their business and as someone else said it's an insult disguised as a question. Also it's very true that married people are probably just jealous which is why they can't handle it and try and make you feel strange. Relationships are overrated and it's a societal thing, others a lot of the time are just conforming, and would likely love to be in your position. And yes some are just sexist bigots.. you keep following your own path and do what is best for you, not for others to feel more comfortable about themselves.

They have no right to judge you. It's better to do things right than rushed. It's better to marry in your 40's with the right person and have your children grow up in a stable household; than to marry young, divorce, and have your children grow up in a broken home. And if you choose singleness for the rest of your life, so what? You are not hurting anyone. In fact, you can contribute to the community in a way that people who are tied up with their family cannot.

Hi UCLAFan. You are single for all the right reasons. You are very disciplined and would not just jump into any relationship to alleviate loneliness.

Next time someone asks you a rude question like that, you can ask in your mind:

"Why are you married? How did such a judgmental and insensitive man like you actually find someone who wants to be with you for the rest of her life?"

Also, it is possible that they feel stuck in their own DRAMA relationship; or are bitter over their regrets about not being able to do things that they really wanted to do due to having a family too soon. In other words, they may be just envious of your freedom. When you think about it, people who are truly happy and content are able to say:

"I am happy with my own life;
and I am okay with you being happy with your own life."

The way these men talk to you speaks a lot about their own insecurity.

My hats off to you for your refusal to compromise and settle for anything less than the best relationship with the best man (when too many people settle for less these days). You go girl!