daily check in for women

good day, but soooo exhausted. I'll catch up tomorrow

I'm a little anxious this morning. I have a messy house I want to take care. It's just that I don't have the energy to do it all.

my call was okay, though I didn't get the result I was hoping for (honestly, I think I was expecting more than she was going to tell me), so I am feeling quite depressed about that

I also contacted a hotel chain yesterday- trying to find a copy of a song that my friend likes when she ggoes on holiday, but they said because they are closed and stay at home, they can't help me (which is fair enough, I guess) I'll try in a few months

ate quite well, didn't sleep, nothing really planned for today

after I've checked the forum might watch buffy. only kills an hour but it's something to do..

kind of a similar sentiment to RV. I mean, I said yesterday I was good, and I was, but I still didn't get all that I was expecting and it was suggested to me to try emailing my t my concerns. On top of that, another issue came up last night, so the message to t will be even longer...felt like a necessary thing to send this morning, but now I'm worried it's too wordy...maybe it just appears that way on paper (?)

I'm actually having my "day of hell" cramps, so not feeling the best physically. And I also had awful sleep. Only slept 3 hours and woke up in a panic-almost, ruminating over the thoughts above until I was too hungry to sleep. Got up, snacked. even went on a different message bored that made me really sad to tears even...but I guess that helped me sleep. Still, only another 2-3 hours, but I was in a MUCH better mood. Also took a nap a few hours later, so feeling my self again-sorta. :P

But yeah, t appointment was yesterday. We were supposed to discuss solutions and I feel we discussed more of my issues. Like, I felt really good during and shortly after the chat, but then later was like...did i really accomplish anything?? I'm just worried because I only get 3 free sessions...yeah.

uhhh...thought there was something else, but can't remember now. lol *grouphug ladies*

for some reason I have been thinking a lot about my past trauma today

also had a pannic attack because of food

so not the best start to the weekend

I had anxiety and sadness today. I tried to cope as best I could. I did some art therapy. I drew a crying face. When it was done, I took one look and felt something electric like in my sad heart. After that I felt a little better.

I've been binge watching Netflix last few days. But at least I did some cardio today. Some dancing added to the walking, getting the heart pumping for over an hour! I really need it too. My gut is getting big. :/

I feel very disappointed in this weekend.

it's all ready sunday and I have litirally done nothing with myself.

yesterday I didn't even feel like doing anything because of all the memories, today I have nothing to do even though my mind is clear.

I do want to paint my nails though... I have some nail polish sat on my desk, maybe later... probably not though?

probably going to be sat here all day thinking about how bad my life is

or something

I am happy!! Life is great!! Too bad it is hot here. I feel sweaty all of the time now.

glad you're feeling good!. yay!

Sorry your weekend isn't going as well as you would like. I hope today you do polish your nails. It will be a wonderful way to show yourself some self love. And it will be a good distraction. You always have Alexa too. Perhaps you can play some games today. My thoughts are with you. I wish you well today.

I feel better this morning. But I need more sleep. I am very tired and I'm in pain. Tylenol isn't helping. I don't have anything else I can take. I just need some heat on my back. Hope everyone is well today!

Hello to all, I'm sending everyone hugs and love

Why do they turn people down for psychological therapy who are in need and can ''benefit'' from it? How do they decide who they think ''can benefit'' or who is ''a priority''........I think we may be in the same forest. I hope this isn't triggering. I hope you have a good day today

I'm sorry about the psychotic episodes. Please know they are not your fault or something you ''should'' be ashamed of

I was wondering if you have consulted a private psychiatrist? They are expensive but one session/appointment might produce a better result? It did for me. They are more accurate with their dxs than some who are in other systems (i think)

Hey!

So I'm bored and wanting to watch Netflix for a few. But I will have to come home and promptly make dinner...unless H does it. Can you do it, hunnie?? I dunno. But I'm procrastinating if I am going. I still need to finish my vitamins, get dressed and maybe even prep a snack. Sigh! Lazy because of a mild tummy ache. Still, I really wanna go...at the same time, I really wanna go out tomorrow because I need to call my T's office to make an appointment. Hmm...i mean, hypothetically I could do both. I dunno what to do.

I have just realised that I don't really like the term, " my mind is clear"

every time I say it, it reminds me of this song borderline (sung by a swedish woman) and it gets stuck in my head for hours, as one of the lyrics is something about her head getting clear

so think I'm going to stop using that term and just say I'm okay. lol

I'm doing okay. I'm getting a hang of using healthier coping/self-soothing tools. I've been in and out of MI treatment since childhood, but this is the first time I've felt that the journey towards recovery has actually begun. I'm grateful to finally be getting help that works for me.

I am doing okay. I had a good first session with a new therapist today.

I'm trying to be patient...I've also been very tired today. sigh!

but here's the details
There are issues surrounding the when and how I'm going to make this last therapy appointment (of the 3 free) have come up. The first available between us isn't until June 18th. I did message her to see if I can get something sooner, like Wednesday or even tomorrow...it's going to be tricky trying to communicate with her right now though. sigh! so...just a little stressed about it all!

Oh! And apparently, I've come to the end of my Clonazepam (for anxiety). I mean, I have the "as needed" backup, but the intent was to get off of it...I'm a little nervous about getting withdrawal symptoms though, or just being extra anxious with everything going on. Sigh!

Seriously counting on hubby bringing us home pizza tonight as I'm burnt out from cooking practically daily since the lockdown. :/

I'm doing well today. I have a dentist appointment this morning. I was anxious about it but then I did some deep breathing, practiced mindfulness and took a hot shower. All of that helped calm me down. I feel refreshed now.

I should go to the dentist.

ugg I hate them so much though, and as bad as this sounds, the last time I went to one was in childhood

I can only imagine the state of my teeth (I try not too.)

I got an email from amazon today proudly proclaiming your order will arive today.

but I don't actually remember ordering anything- accept for my new body wash which arived yesterday and it smells awesome.

I am meant to be having a phone call today (someone wishes to phone me for an update to a matter), but I have decided I want my phone off and I don't want to speak to her.

I have nothing to say to her today

I am still happy. Life is not bad at all. But, it is hot!!

I also got a shocked looked today when I said I knew something about football

I don't know what it is (why people asume women don't like sport,) but it gets old. these days almost every sport have women's teams

having stomachaches today. Wasn't too bad, but now I'm feeling some nausea. I am not sure if it's all just from the pizza last night (worth it so far), or if I overspiced lunch plus the empty stomach being filled again.

And then there is the fact that I still have not heard from my T yet...not sure if I will get an appointment this week now at this point. Feeling like giving up, unless she calls me when I'm out. Yes, I'm gonna go to my folks to housesit, probably for the last time this week, and watch the kitties and some Netflix...hopefully my tummy cooperates!

Mood is ok.