Why couldn't I pick his wife?

My brother in law is great. We have a lot of laughs together. I always pictured him marrying someone nice and we could go on holiday together. He then married her. My sister in law and I don't get along. I think she is lazy (she quit working 1 year before their wedding she had no kids) I on the other hand worked two jobs and went to school up until the day before I delivered my first baby. She now has one son whom she never takes anywhere. She does nothing but chat on line (lol ironic isn't it) but I am just taking a break from homework (I have gone back to school) Her parents are sucking him into their family they hate me as well as his parents. I have found out that they don't have any retirement plan and her two siblings still live at home and aren't going to move out anytime soon. I think they are looking at my brother in law as a retirement plan. He comes home from work and takes care of the kid while she goes off and does her thing. The list goes on and on. She thinks I am opinionated and bossy. She is right but that is why I am always put in charge of planning anything that goes on, from family events to town golf tournaments. I am good at what I do. I can't be all lazy lump of skin being wishy washy all day. Should I try to be nice and overlook my tired and used brother in law and if so how. (I am married to the oldest so I knew this kid since he was eight years old. I feel like a protective older sister)

((( HUGS ))) -


If I may ask? - Is your brother happy with his wife and their life together......... if Yes, then might I suggest that you back away (off a little & not get into their business) as to keep his love and to gain her friendship in time.

I never ever ever talk to him or her about it. He has no idea I feel this way about her. She and I just naturally mix like oil and water. Is he happy??? I have watched him grow being beaten by his step father, locked in the shed over night when he did something wrong. I have heard him crying because all the kids at school picked on him. He threw all of his pictures in the garbage because he had crossed eyes. (I was to young to do anything about it) He always said that he would marry for life no matter what. He had this picture in his head of the perfect wife now here she is. I think he will kill himself to make this happy. Even my husband who is mister it is none of our business is getting angry. I think the last straw was when the brothers were talking and having a bonding moment (they hadn't seen each other in eight months) and she texted him to come up and get the baby in its sleeper and lay it down for the night. She texted him from one room away. While he did that she went down and played on the computer. The next day when they were leaving he asked me to watch the baby while she was on the computer and he packed up everything and got the baby ready packed the car and she ignored the entire family while she was on the computer. The boy gets up at 4:30 and is in bed at 11:30 he works 12 - 16 hour shifts comes home cooks, looks after the baby and does the housework. Now for my husband Mr. you made your bed now lye in it to take notice and start to get mad then you know his brother is getting treated like dirt. I am not pretending to be perfect. I am far from it but I have a husband who keeps me in check. I never have said boo about how she treats my brother in law or my husband and I in our house. I just want to know should I be nice to her continue to invite her down to our house. When I have been at their house I have been asked to buy groceries, cook and clean. She then complains about the food I cook and makes my brother in law go out and get her take out. I still haven't said anything about the way I feel.

Hmm - maybe it is time to finally tell someone how you feel - but by all means pick the right person.

I personally do not feel that anyone should have to endure bad treatment from another....... but I do feel that we should be kind to all that cross our path (I find that I can do this best thru the Lords heart and not that of my own).

BTW - If I may say this?

I find that it is best to accept another person from their side of the fence and not through our own eyes / thoughts of how we think they should be.

.... we cannot compare them to our self and how we turned out - for they did not live the path we walked.

My only suggestion is keep these opinions close. I thought I was safe in ripping loose when my brother called and said he was getting a divorce. Ooops, they got back together 3 years later and are together still. Things are .... complicated now.