Menopause help and advice needed.

This is on behalf of a friend she can and will read replys thank you ....


I'm really worried about my mum. I know it's normal to go through the menopause and suffer some nasty symptoms, but she's not seeming to cope with it at the moment and it's only just begun.

I want to be there for her, and help her all that I can, but I do not know what the best way to go about this is. It doesn't help that I don't live with my parents so often all I can do is talk on the phone with her a couple of times a week and then visit every 3-4weeks.

I'm not sure exactly what symptoms are going on fully, but I know she's been very down, had hot flushes and insomnia. She has been to the doctor and so far just had some bloods taken.

All I would really like is ideas of how I can support her best from the position of being her daughter and her not wanting her to feel weird about me knowing she's not feeling great and also from the distance I'm living away.

Thanks in advance for your input

What a great daughter you are! We don't know your mom or how open she is to input...but she sure has a great chlck in her court. I would print out available online lit for her and pass it along. Just let her know that you are there, and want to be available for her - as she has been for you.

I know that I'd be happy to have such a supportive lady by my side during my menopause!

S

BUMP ! This person would love some advice surely somone in here has been through it ?

really let her know you understand she what she is going thru is natural although not fun at all. She should be on some kind of hormone replacement. I much prefer the natural ones to the synthetic ones.

there are herbal supplements that can be very helpful. black cohosh is one of the better ones. they can help the body adjust to the loss of hormones naturally.

lost

The best starting point for her is her doctor, and it is very positive that she has already taken that step. But what can you do?

When you do visit, don't ask her to do too much with you when she is in the midst of those hot flashes, like going on a major shopping outing to the mall. Do easier things, preferably in air-conditioned surroundings, like visit one store only, or take in a movie or a play. Or just hang out at home.

Be supportive, but don't overdo it. Moms like to be moms, and we always guard against role reversal, which is not healthy for our kids. Let her know ways in which you need her and she can help you. Moms love to feel needed. This will help her mental outlook. When we're getting older, it's easy to feel, I'm old, my best days are over, I'm useless, no one is interested in me, etc.

Be aware that your mom's "explosion level" may be much lower than what you are used to. I have two teenage daughters, and in the best of circumstances, there are moments of frustration and flare-ups, when the teens seem very sassy and unnecessarily unpleasant. For me, I can mostly roll with that, but if I were to feel like it was 100 degrees all day long, and there was no relief, I could become very cranky, and have less tolerance for that sort of behavior. I don't know what your own situation is (your age, etc. ) but just be aware your mom may have lower tolerance for "guff."

If she seems severely down, immobile, crying all the time, etc., you could gently suggest she see a therapist. This is a hard time in life, one of transition, and professional support might be helpful, particularly if she is depressed.

Good luck. You sound like a very caring and loving daughter.