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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2005
Posts: 3,886
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Jan 02, 2009 at 02:39 PM
#1
How best to deal with catty and gossiping women at college? I am afraid I'll be next on the list to gossip about!
  
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
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Jan 02, 2009 at 04:58 PM
#2
why do you think youre next on the list?
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2008
Posts: 1,225
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Jan 02, 2009 at 05:35 PM
#3
sometimes the only way people know how to connect with others is to ***** about people who aren't present. that can surely be the way it seems. if you just kind of keep quiet / not contribute when people are doing that... then they tend to feel that you aren't part of things... but then when people are like that i guess one can be fairly sure that they will get to you at some point.
i've had a problem with this recently, too. hard for me to know what to do... i said a couple times about how i wasn't really into worrying so much about what everyone else was / was not doing. they looked a little abashed... but then got right back to it. think it is the only way they know how to relate... need to run down others in order to feel acceptable themselves. i have distanced myself from these people. there will be OTHER people around who aren't like that. time to seek out those people... bet there are other people around who are feeling like you. i would never feel comfortable being friends with people who i'm fairly sure are horrid about me behind my back... with friends like that who needs enemies??? there always will be people like that around you in your life... the thing is... so long as you have some people around who are good social supports then whatever these people think will really seem to matter a whole heap less. if it doesn't get to you it isn't so bad. you know it isn't personal anyways - right? some people... ***** about basically everyone... |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2005
Posts: 3,886
19 47 hugs
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Jan 03, 2009 at 03:05 PM
#4
The reason or reasons I think I'll be next is for paranoid reasons i guess..
I'm shy and dont talk alot.....so I think i stand out and I am an easy target.
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
17 2 hugs
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Jan 03, 2009 at 06:47 PM
#5
actually i would think the opposite. if you dont talk... then you dont say anything that could potentially bite you in the *** later on.
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 Zen888
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 10,383
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Jan 04, 2009 at 02:33 AM
#6
I agree with what Kim does. I just distance myself from unpleasant people like that. There are plenty of people who are not catty and don't gossip, and they are the type of people I like to hang around with.
__________________ "Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
17 2 hugs
given
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Jan 04, 2009 at 07:23 PM
#7
its hard to find girls college age who dont act like that (ive found) so i end up having mostly guy friends. and usually they dont pay attention to gossip anyways, so even if they hear something, they prob wont buy into it or spread it around.
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