[ickydog2006]

My husband really wants baby. I really want baby. I've taken about a million online quizzes concerning "Are you ready", and they all say yes. We are financially secure, relationship is good, we are very responsible, ect ect. But none of the quizzes really touch on emotional well being. Somedays I think it will be fine and at other times I wonder if I'm emotionally stable enough. Currently I am on meds for OCD and Panic Disorder (both have been well managed since I began Zoloft a few years back), but I still sometimes find myself in a funk. This last one was caused because I went without seeing a T for too long (over two months when normal for me is once a week), but it made me start engaging in destructive behaviors (quit eating, OD'd (mildly but still dangerous) o purpose, trying to find meds that would interact poorly). I don't know why, but my inability to get myself to be honest with my husband about how badly I was doing (fear of hurting him emotionally) makes me question whether I should even be thinking of having a child. I can't help thinking of having a baby though.... women wired crazy.
Any thoughts.... advice.... experiences? I know there isn't an exact science to this, like mathematically calculating when you will be a good mother.... but sometimes I sure wish there was. I questioned my emotional stability before getting married and felt the same was as now, but I'm glad I chose to get married anyway (is anyone ever fully prepared for marriage: my logic), does this mean having a baby is the right choice too?

Why does this have to be so complicated?

[Zen888]

I don't have children but if it were me I would get some therapy to decide whether or not I was totally prepared for having a baby and raising a child. Plus you have to consider your medical conditions and medication you are on. Is it safe to be pregnant on the the medication(s) you are on? How will the change in hormones affect your mental stability if you become pregnant and after the birth of the baby? Are you trying to fill a void in your life by bringing a child into your home?

I apologize if anything I have said is offensive to you at all.

[ickydog2006]

Originally Posted by Zen888

I don't have children but if it were me I would get some therapy to decide whether or not I was totally prepared for having a baby and raising a child. Plus you have to consider your medical conditions and medication you are on. Is it safe to be pregnant on the the medication(s) you are on? How will the change in hormones affect your mental stability if you become pregnant and after the birth of the baby? Are you trying to fill a void in your life by bringing a child into your home?

I apologize if anything I have said is offensive to you at all.

It's okay, his isn't offensive. I have talked to my T about it but she hasn't given me much feedback on what I should do. As for my meds I reviewed a study showing no increased risk to the fetus during the first two trimesters, however, if taken during the third trimester there's increase of risk for lung developement issues and withdrawal symptoms at birth. I'm hoping to be able to ween off of meds when we are trying to conceive or during the first two trimesters. Even if I do there are still risks with non-treatment. I'm terrified of how being pregnant will affect my metal stability but I've been told it's different forr everyone.
As for am I trying to fill a void. I don't know. I think most of it is it just feels right. I'm married... good relationship. It's definitely similar to filling a void though. Right now our dog is our baby but it's not the same. You know? It does feel like a baby or two would make our family feel more complete.

[Rhapsody]

I would advice any couple to wait if either one of them is mentally or emotionally unstable.

[thunderbear]

I agree with rapsohdy. When I found out I was pregnant with my youngest son, I was very happy he was an accident but a good one my oldest I was barely 17 but I was happy when he was born. I had depression with my oldest partly because I was on bedrest the last two months. Being pregnant and giving birht really do affect your hormones and how you feel you can either be extremly happy or worse case extremly depressed. I would talk with my therapist make her listen bring it up everytime you go in just so she knows your serious.