Having no job is the pits

not just because there is less money coming into the household, but just the other day my dh said, "you are a better person when you work".

I know that sounds mean out of context - but I know it's true too. I lost a part of me that was important to my self-esteem.

On the other side of things, I've been able to go visit my family. Being a real "presence" for my grand children has been a lot of fun, rather than only seeing them a few times a year because of job responsibilities.

My job gave me something to be responsible about in ways just being a housewife doesn't. I think I'm done greiving about it though, and will just keep looking for work.

What are some of you going through, not just the finiancal part?

I've been unemployed long enough at this point (7 months and counting....) that I've pretty much stopped caring. I had to give up some independence, but it was a fair trade for giving up most of my bills as well (moved in with family member). I enjoy having my days to myself and being able to do what I please with them.

However, and this is a big however -- I hated my job. People kept commenting, in the immediate aftermath, "you're handling it so well!" And that's because it was such an enormous relief to be out of there. Do I wish it had been on my terms instead of theirs? Of course, but it wasn't, and the end result was still good for my mental health, if not financially.

I'm not crazy about the idea of being middle-aged and having to decide what I want to be when I grow up all over again, but I'm trying to look at it as an opportunity.

When my company closed down, a part of me did as well. I did find another job, but the job I have now is nothing like what I had or what I wanted. Still, I'm very thankful to have a job.

What I have noticed is that my other job defined who I was to a big degree. The job I have now was very hard for me because it wasn't who I was. It started to become what I did for a living. Now that is a positive thing, but in the beginning, as I fought it, it was horrid. I was so lost and struggling.

Now I am learning who I am, by myself, not because of what I do. It's been a real learning experience and while it was bumpy, I'm thankful that my job doesn't define me now. Good luck to you as you find what you need.

Thanks Candybear and wanttttttoheal,

I guess some of what I miss is "structure", but then, I like it to be me to decide what it is I'm going to do all day with my time. I'm trying hard to get into a routine with doing the responsible things first and playing secondly.

Candybear, when you figure out what you want to do when you grow up, let me know, Okay?

My good mental health is a good reason to not be working where I was, that former job was begining to "define me" into someone I wasn't. I was the square peg trying to fit into a round hole if you know what I mean.

[Heygimm]
I know that sounds mean out of context - but I know it's true too. I lost a part of me that was important to my self-esteem.
I understand this feeling. Sometimes people don't realize of how much they identify themselves with a job. It's what we've been programmed to do since we were a child. People are taught very early on that youare somehow worth less if your not working.

On the other side of things, I've been able to go visit my family. Being a real "presence" for my grand children has been a lot of fun, rather than only seeing them a few times a year because of job responsibilities.

This is the best thing to happen to people in general during this economic shift. Maybe people are starting to get there priorities straight. This is far more significant in life than a job.

My job gave me something to be responsible about in ways just being a housewife doesn't. I think I'm done greiving about it though, and will just keep looking for work.
Not JUST a housewife. Especially when you have kids & grand kids. You do more for society helping them than you ever could at a job.

What are some of you going through, not just the finiancal part?
Well I haven't worked a study job since about 2003 or so. I started college back then. I coach youth sports & tutor on occassion for cash. Most of my money comes from college financing options though.

LK

All of you wrote very nice replies. Thank you. And I've been so undecided/confussed or maybe just simply know what I'd like to do but it seems "unresponsible" to not go back to work. I've enjoyed the stuff I've been able to do with family and friends.

At my age, 61and 1/2, it isn't worth going back to school to learn what I'd need just to do some of the entry level jobs because I know I''m not sharp on all the Microsoft Office package stuff. And that is the type of work I want to do in a business office, doctor's office. Because I don't want to work retail hours. I can't recover the cost of school in a job making the wages they pay in this economy today. I can collect social security at age 66 and on Jan 1 too. So in dollars, I may work for only 5 more years, but could work longer.

Im working at the actualy time and cost of a few computer classes plus books and practice time of learning this stuff on my own....The big question is "will it be a wash-cost for school ____________ vs _____________ what I would earn in 2 -3 years after I did the education....plus the cost of a nicer wardrobe again to be professional in that office setting.

Can I make as much starying home doing alterations, sewing, and find "odd jobs" with cooking a meal or two for someone. I am really starting to thing that way and feel that it's more who I am, or have become. HELP

The more I'm trying to type this post, the more the Ambien tab is kicking in, and I'm not thinking write/right??? I'm half asleep and know I need to say good night all.

Please say a little prayer for me to help me choose where my path will lead me. I'd appreciate that very much

Good night

Hi Heygimm,

Are you saying you are looking for office work, but your skills are not very good in Microsoft office?

If I have understood your post correctly..... here's a few thoughts on that:

1. Have you looked into working with any of the temporary employment agencies that are out there?

Many of the agencies offer free training... where you can either learn Microsoft Office via the Internet (if you have a faster connection than dial-up) from the comforts of your own home or you can use their computers and take the tutorials.

2. If you are looking for office work... most places anymore are business casual.

Nice blouses, polo shirts, sweaters and dress pants will be perfectly acceptable. I have worked in a business casual environment for many years. I only own 1 suit (a pant suit) which I have used for job interviews, funerals, weddings and when the corporate Big Kahunas come into town for a visit.

Anyway... good luck to you. I am sure you will find something.

Thank you PP

Your reply is kind and helped me figure out a few things, like trying to do the online MS office classes again.

Thanks again.

Hi Heygimm --

I am 61 and 11 days old, so roughly the same age as you. I have been stringing together part-time teaching and writing jobs for a year. Now, even the p/t jobs are thinning out as schools cut back. I am going to start my own thread, because I don't want to go on so long that I hijack your thread.

I hope things get better soon for all of us.