My Terrible Financial Situation & My Interview with Public Housing Authority

I only worked at a regular traditional job from May 2006 - August 2006. Due to my mental health (PTSD, Dissociation, Major Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Phobias) I don't think I would be able to work, if ever. (Not only bc of my own mental health, but also because I've never been able to trust anyone with my son. I've never had a babysitter for him. I know what people can do to kids and I don't want my son to be hurt!) However, since I have a baby and my husband is in prison, and I have no one to really help support me (my mom has sent me some money lately, but not much, and I don't know whenever she'll be able to help me), I have seriously thought about trying to get a job. I actually have applications filed out that I have not returned. My husband is the main person (or ONLY person, really) on me to get a job. Since the home I am living in (thankfully it is my father's old house & it's under his name) may very well soon be foreclosed, I am reluctant to get a job in this area, since I can't drive. There are no buses or any public transportation what-so-ever that comes through here.

I have been trying since May 2009 to get Public Housing/Section 8 in the city, where there is a bus. The first appointment I was given was in August. Unfortunately, My son and I had gone to New York to visit my mother from early August to late September and I didn't even find out about this appointment until weeks later. Luckily, they gave me a second chance. Soon after we came back, I received a letter for a second and final appointment. I found a ride and got the directions. It was over 20 miles away. Unfortunately, my driver was late to get to my house and got lost driving me there and it ended up taking us 1 1/2- 2 hours to get there. I was very late. The women that at least did give me an interview was very irritated with me already. I was very tired, it was hours earlier than I usually get up and I got up early to get me and my son ready. I forgot two papers. She was very angry with me...Then she asked me who the father of my son is . (My son is a product of rape). I told her, I didn't know. She was said "WHAT? You don't know who the father of your child is?!?! How could you not know who the father of your child is?!?!?!" I just kept telling her I don't know. Why did I HAVE to tell her? I didn't know her. She doesn't need to know everything about my personal life! Well she got soooo... irritated. Several times she asked me if this was important to me and she kept shaking her head in disapproval after so many things I told her. Yes it is sooo important to me, I'm scared my son won't have a place to sleep. I told her I only knew the name he told me was his name, but I'm sure it's not his real name. She asked what it was. I told her and started panicking, but tried to hold it together for the interview. Well, after that she told me I needed to bring back 2 papers, plus a letter from the man that raped me to say he doesn't give me child support. There was no way, I going to try to contact that man...

Until recently, I kept getting letters from child support services asking about details of this man, so they could collect child support. I don't want his money. I don't want anything to do with him. I him to stay completely out of my life. Also, I don't want any proof or acknowledgment that my son has his blood. That is why I couldn't continue with the whole investigation with the police. Also, he is mine and my husband's son, no one else's.

Well, I wasn't able to get another ride back there. So I mailed in the papers. And then a while later, I got a letter saying my application was disqualified because I failed to provide all the right paperwork. It said I could send them a letter to ask for another interview if I felt that was a wrong decision. I did, but I never heard anything back from them.

Just about a week or two ago, I finally got some more ink, so I could print out another application. I filled it out and mailed it. I figure it will be at least four months again before I'll get another appointment. And then even longer after that before they find us a place. Now, I may only have a month left here and I have no where to go. I'll be completely honest, I have about $300 in the bank. And in April, I may have to start paying back student loans, from the online college I started, but couldn't finish because of my mental health issues. Ironically in the social work field. At least, I have 12 credits to show for it. And have been able to live off the grant money for a while.

I don't know what to do now. I looked at disability insurance, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get any, since I've only had a traditional job a few months of my life. I did babysitting and house cleaning, besides that job. I feel so stuck. Even if I get a place with public housing, I'm not sure how I'll get over my fear and trust issues. What else can I do?

I was just wondering how things turned out because your situation sounded so desperate.

Sometimes we must make tough choices. It may feel like you don't have many options but you do. My worst decisions are made out of fear so take a breath. Take a risk.

Best wishes to you and your family.

(((hug))) sorry your life is so complicated and hard right now. Rethink about the child support. That's the least he owes. He owes the system if you draw from the system, that's only fair to taxpayers. Do your best.

I don't know the rules about receiving disability when you haven't paid in enough or in time enough. Have you checked with the salvation army for a job, or job resources? You might be able to find something where you don't have to work with people, and that would limit your stress reactions of the PTSD I think.

My situation is even more desparate now. I have less than $100 in the bank and no cash on me. I applied for public housing again, but I missed the appointment, because I didn't have a ride and no one was answering the phones that day, so I couldn't see if I could make other arrangements. I don't know about child support anymore, the man is missing and has no records since he is an illegal immigrant and has many aliases. The police couldn't even find him to interview him or arrest him. And with child support, they ask me so many details about the person, most of which I don't know. and if I don't know enough, they will say that I'm unwilling to corroperate and dismiss the case. I don't know where he lives, or his phone number, or anyone that knows him, that could say where he is. But I also really don't want any records, acknowledgement, or anything saying who my son's real "father" is.

My biggest problems right now besides money are transportation and my fear of letting anyone else watch my son. So I don't know in the salvation army can help, but I'll check. I won't be able to get there though. There's no public transportation here. The closest bus stop is 4 1/2 miles away and there are almost no sidewalks. My problem isn't working with other people (that is something, but it's not what is holding me back the most), it's letting someone else watch my son. I'm afraid he will be hurt or negletted. I'm afraid that something could happen to me or I could get caught up at work and I wouldn't be able to pick him up from a daycare. I'm all he has, and I'm afraid to take that risk.

Have you applied for food stamps? Or looked into any support you can receive since you are a single mother? I don't know what state you live in, but there are quite a few states that offer support for single mothers. And if you can't go to a place, call said organizations (salvation army, local government human services, etc) and find out if they can mail you applications for assistance without having to go anywhere. Also I don't know how viable this is, but in the job forums on this site there are links to at-home jobs online. This could possibly help you find some work at home.

Wish you luck!

I just recently applied for food stamps. I found an application online and mailed it in. But I haven't heard anything since. I'm not sure about at-home jobs. I've thought about it though. I'm not actually single either, my husband is in jail. But I will look into the Salvation Army. I did community service there when I was a teenager and I saw on one of my community help papers that they help with transportation, but you have to have an interview with them first. Maybe they could help with transportation for me to work there.

Overall, it sounds like you need case management. That would be a social worker to help you fill out the forms you need to get the ball rolling. Someone like this could drive you to your appointments, helped you get emergency foodstamps (you can get them in one day). Explained to you that you can still get SSI since you have not worked much. Have you been to your counties mental health agency or called them? If you explain your situation, I think they can help you. I also think the police, the housing lady and the child support people were crazy to think you would be able to identify your attacker by name! And just what kind of letter was he suppose to write? "Dear Housing Authority, I raped this lady and got her pregnant when I assaulted her and am fully prepared to take responsibility...". The social programs we have in place sometimes do not work. This isn't your fault and I am so sorry you are having to to through this. But keep plugging away at it and see if you can get a case manager to help. Hugs!

Can you and your son go live with your mother until your husband gets out of prison? Maybe there are part-time jobs there that you could get to help pay your share.

I'm trying to look up about a case manager, but I'm not having any luck so far. Mostly what I found is for elderly or case management jobs. But thank you for the idea. I'm gonnqa keep trying.

There's actually no kids allowed in the apartment my mom lives in. It's crazy. I don't understand how any apartment complex can get away with that rule. But also, my mother didn't want me to stay with her. My PTSD symptoms scared her when I went to visit her. She was ready for me to leave about three weeks beofre we left.

Ashadow, go to google and type in the name of your county and the the letters MHMR and see what comes up. If that does not work, pm me with the name of your county and the name of your city and I will do a search for you and see what I can come up with. Hang in there!